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Weekly devotionals based on soul tending in the book of Psalms.

Are You Giving Margin for Lament? Psalm 42

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment
(Actual photo of the deer that treat my front yard as a salad bar.)

Everyone I know experienced loss in 2020. Job loss, death, illness, cancellation of special events, long months of separation from loved ones, financial struggles, depression, strain on marriages, anxiety and more was served up in abundance to everyone.

What do I do when faced with a sad situation, a significant loss or a painful transition?

I believe there is a need, hard-wired into our soul, to grieve, process and lament pain. Stuffing it down only lengthens the healing pathway or avoids it entirely.

Psalm 42 is written as a lament. It begins with the vivid picture of thirsty animal.

1As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

Psalm 42:1-2 ESV

The Master Designer of humans created me with a need for Him. My soul literally thirsts and hungers to be in God’s presence. Far too often shame, guilt, sadness, and depression keep me from running to the only one who can fill my needs. I might even try to satisfy myself with people and things, but only God can water my parched soul.

3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.

Psalm 42:3-4 ESV

In times of deep grieving my tears have truly been my food day and night. Sometimes well-meaning friends offer empty platitudes or pointed questions that provide no hope or encouragement. While I long to gather in God’s house, I’m pouring out what little energy I might have left on my grief journey. The steps in processing grief must be taken one by one. Rushing back into a festival or celebration would be disorienting until the work of grieving in completed.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation 6 and my God.My soul is cast down within me; therefore, I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Psalm 42:5-6 ESV

Part of any grieving journey requires some soul searching and an exploration of why. My own feeling sometimes surprises me. My hope is found in God and that is a handhold in the dark way that must be traveled. Can I call to mind times of God’s faithfulness in my life? Making a list might bring a fresh spring of encouragement. The psalmist recalls the unchanging landmarks in the land where he lives as he travels the uncertain territory of processing grief. What are the places where God has shown himself large and active in my life? Shall I place a stone of remembrance there to bear testimony of what He has done for me?

Thank you, God that you provide a map for traveling the pathway of grieving. You give abundant margin for me to bring all my deepest and darkest feelings to you. You are always available to hear my cries. You never tire of reminding me of what you have done for me. Help me to travel the grieving pathway at your pace. Not running ahead or giving up but moving ever forward to great healing that can only come from you. AMEN

How do you leave margin to process grief? I would love to hear your thoughts.

How Can I Avoid Anger’s Trap? Psalm 5:7-12

/ Anthea Kotlan / 1 Comment

What is a trap? Something that collects and keeps something else that eventually may or may not be released.

I believe that anger a problem because it could lead to some damaging words or actions. However, it is also a problem if it is stuffed down deep into our souls. I believe there it can cause deep and lasting damage. Eventually, the anger may surprise us with how heavy it has become. Much like a stone that is weighing us down.

There is nothing like sitting on hard plastic chairs for hours waiting for my turn in a line moving like molasses to bring out the very best in me. Recently I spent most of a Monday assisting my eighty-year-old mother with renewing her driver’s license at a local office of the Department of Public Safety. I had made an “online appointment” three months earlier but arrived and found two very long lines snaking out into the parking lot. We waited in these lines for about twenty minutes and discovered we were missing a document. We got back in the car and drove home to find it and just over an hour later, we returned to begin the process again. This time, after the thirty-minute wait outside, we gained access to the building and found our way to those hard plastic chairs. We waited there for two more hours. As we sat together, I began to notice more and more people were processed through and all the while my mother’s name was not called. Finally, frustration was boiling over in my heart and mind. My inner advocate propelled me up from my seat to ask, as politely as I could, how much longer we might have to wait. The receptionist went to go check and I found out that my mother’s name had never been re-entered into the queue. We were then assured that we would be the very next customer.

Honestly, when I realized an error had been made, harsh words almost spilled from my mouth. An hour earlier my mother had tried to advocate for herself with this receptionist, and she had been dismissed. I swallowed my frustration hard as I sat back down to wait about twenty more hard-plastic-chair minutes, which I believe should count twice. When I finally arrived back home, about eight hours after I had initially left my house, I did not process all that anger and aggravation. Those strong feelings turned into hard rocks that weighed me down for weeks. Good soul care requires that I be proactive and find healthy ways to process anger, fear, shame, and guilt. While the employees of the DPS are not my enemies, my disappointment with mistakes made can operate like strategic plots by an enemy power that seeks to keep me away from my Father’s business. What happened was a minor inconvenience, but I know it caused a great deal of stress for my mother. She now dreads ever having to return there.

Last week on the blog I wrote about the first half of Psalm 5. Click on this link to see the post. https://antheakotlan.com/2021/06/16/how-can-i-be-angry-and-sin-not/

This week I am going to look at verses 7-12 to see how I could have handled my anger better.
In the second half of Psalm 5 (verses 7-12), David continues to pour out his angry heart to God. He reminds himself of God’s character and asks God for what he needs.

7 But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house.I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you.8 Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me.

Psalm 5:7-8 ESV

Keep me in fellowship with you in your house. I thank you that I can approach you this day because of what you have done for me in abundance. I praise you this day for your mercy. Your love is my compass and provision. Please, don’t let my enemies, mistakes others make, or the unfairness of everyday life distract me from living out the life you have for me. Keep me on track with you and in step with you. I entrust you with all my disappointments and trust you to make these situations work out for my benefit, and for those I love.

9 For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction, their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue.

10 Make them bear their guilt, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out, for they have rebelled against you.
My enemies speak fluent deception, and even their compliments tear down. Please settle the score on my behalf and send them away. While they seek their own counsel, help me to always seek your wisdom first. You are my advocate.
11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.

12 For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

Psalm 5:9-12 ESV

Running into your safe embrace is worthy of celebration. In your presence, I can sing and praise you in peaceful protection. There is always enough room for me in your presence. I choose to give thanks for all you are doing for me and those I love. I will take time today to hide with you.

Last week I talked about my granddaughter throwing a tantrum. One of the most tender moments I have witnessed is when my tall son-in-law bends down to the ground and looks into his tiny daughter’s eyes. He says, “I can see that you have some big feelings right now. Please use your words and tell Daddy what you need.” Psalm 5 is my heavenly father’s message to me to come to him and use my words to let him know what I need. He longs to hear from me and for me to express my anger and hurt with words, cries, and groans. He alone is always a safe place to run.

Lord, thank you. You are my Jehovah Jirah and you have everything I need. You are always ready to hold me in my angry moments and help me process through all my big feelings. Only you can help me avoid the trap of anger that leads to sin. Amen.

How do you process anger in a healthy way?

How Can I Be Angry and Sin Not? Psalm 5:1-6

/ Anthea Kotlan / 1 Comment

Sometimes my two-year-old granddaughter’s entire body displays her displeasure with life and or a directive from me. Her tiny balled-up fists jerk about, her bottom lip protrudes, as a steady stream of “no, no, no,” alerts everyone to her frustration. As a toddler, her vocabulary might be limited, but her feelings are made crystal clear.

Flashpoint anger flares in my heart. Sometimes it catches me by surprise, but other times it is been on a slow simmer for hours or even days. As a child, I was trained in the ways of emotional suppression. Anger was never acceptable, and all unpleasant emotional responses were to be squashed down post-haste.

So how do I “be angry and sin not?” (Ephesians 4:26 ESV) According to the rest of this passage, I’m not even supposed to let the sun go down on my anger. So much for sleeping it off!

I believe that God provided the psalms for soul care. Each one is designed to help process difficult emotional reactions like sadness, fear, anger, and joy. Today I’m looking at Psalm 5.

King David knew a little about anger and frustration. He opens Psalm 5 by begging God to hear him.

1Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning.
2 Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. (Psalm 5:1-2 ESV)

David asked God to hear not only his words but also his feelings expressed in groanings and cries. He pours out all of his frustration directly to his loving heavenly father. Processing anger with God is a healthy option for David and for me. God may already know everything, but he longs to hear from me even when it’s negative. I can afford to get real with God. Psalm 5 provides a liturgy for me to use to process my anger with God.


3 O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.4 For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. (Psalm 5:3-4 ESV)

Thank you, LORD, that I am truly seen and heard by you. As I wait for you, I lay before you my life and beg for your intervention. Life is hard right now and things seem very unfair. When I spend time with you, God, I can take a break from the evils of this world. In your presence are peace, joy, and light.

5 The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers.
6 You destroy those who speak lies; the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. (Psalm 5:5-6 ESV)

Lord, thank you that you will level the playing field and it is not up to me to fetch justice for myself or my loved ones. You will handle all those who frustrate me or cause pain. Lord, guard my heart against becoming deceptive especially towards myself. Help me to have an accurate view of myself and others based on your truth. Only you can help me to acknowledge my anger and sin not. Amen.

The first half of Psalm 5 provides so much that is needed to process through anger. Next week, I’ll be looking at the final six verses to see the completion of this process.

A Remedy for Soul Weary Days Psalm 16:7-11

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

Are you tired? Are you worn out?

God’s guidance continues to challenge me to dismantle the influence of hustle culture on my life.  For decades I’ve been immersed in the need to do more, work harder, and keep going. My type A personality struggles to avoid the trap that hems me in on all sides with chaos of competing calls to never stop. I will never arrive or complete what is most essential according to the world. Choosing the narrow way, and daily exposure to God’s directive for time management realigns my priorities.

The second half of Psalm 16 gives special direction for finding a place of refuge that refuels me on my journey. The ever forward motion can cease when I pause and rest with God. (See last week’s blog post for the first half of Psalm 16 https://antheakotlan.com/2021/06/02/psalm-16-gods-prescription-for-rest/.)

7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
    in the night also my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

When the dark of the night surrounds me it is easy to become disoriented and discouraged. How often has sleep been stolen by anxiety’s grip in the middle of the night, pulling back the covers and causing fears to loom larger? The worst dilemma is not facing a difficult decision, but it is actually the lack of clarity. In the night God will show up and give guidance. Perhaps it is in the night, when I finally get still, I can hear His voice above the hustle of this world.   

9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
    my flesh also dwells secure.

10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
    or let your holy one see corruption.

My rest is even found in celebrating in the security of my now and not yet. In a world full of anxiety and threats, I can rest assured in soul security found only in the Lord. I can know my eternal soul is safe forever in the company of God.

11 You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

True soul tending rest delivers gladness and thankfulness. I know where I am going with God. He will never leave me or forsake me. He has revealed a way to live in His presence, and I can escape an exhausting cycle of second guessing, criticizing myself, and striving to do more and more. The joy found in the presence of God is soul sustaining for the ongoing journey of life this side of heaven.

Lord, teach me to take time away with you to restore my soul in the rest. I choose to listen to the faithful counsel of your word and sit with you and rejoice. All I need is right here with you. Amen.

How do you find rest?

God’s Prescription for Rest – Psalm 16:1-6

/ Anthea Kotlan / 1 Comment

I am comfortable living in hustle culture. The work harder, do more, don’t give up message ricochets through my mind every single day on repeat. God’s call to rest is not easy for me for me to answer. I love to check things off a list, track my steps, and multi-task.

Psalm 16 is a prayer that provides God’s instructions for rest because the creator of the universe, and the maker of me, knows my design capacity. He knows the lure and seductive nature of hustle culture and the lies it tells. He offers a counter narrative.

1Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    I have no good apart from you.”

Notice the verb, take. I must actively take the refuge God offers. This offer of refuge is much like a prescription given to me by a medical doctor. It must be taken daily to be effective. Refuge will not come upon me unless I choose it, plan for it, and seek it.  I might have to give up other activities in order to slip away to the place of refuge. I will never arrive there on autopilot.

Do I really believe, “I have no good apart from you”? There’s a song that I remember singing. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.” (Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus by Helen H. Lemmel) When I do focus entirely on Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, everything, everyone, every screaming deadline, and item on the to do list fades away. I discover the reality of what is truly important…only things of an eternal nature.

I spend entirely too much of my time being distracted. All in the name of efficient multi-tasking, I often do many things at one time. However, when I come fully into God’s presence, and unplug from the noise of this world, I can take refuge in Him. Refuge is a place set apart to be alone with God and soak in His presence. In that quiet time, I gain clarity on my priorities.

3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
    in whom is all my delight.

4 The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
    their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
    or take their names on my lips.

God designed me to serve and worship him in a faith community. Even in a time of Covid, I have to find ways to connect and not become isolated. There is rest found in the gathering together with God’s people. I need others to lift me up in prayer, teach me, challenge me, and keep me accountable. Just as I would do those things for other members of the body. Attempting to follow God on my own is exhausting and leaves no margin for rest. God calls me to find delight in community.

Just as I seek community with a like-minded people of faith, I also need to be wary of those who “run after another god.” Some of the nicest people you could ever meet, might not be seeking Jesus. I must be discerning in how I spend time with unbelievers. Time spent with unbelievers can be draining. While I am called to be a witness to a watching world, I am also called to guard what I take into my life.

5 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
    you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

A grateful heart finds satisfaction in listing all that God has provided. Do I allow myself to buy into the world’s idea of scarcity, or do I see the way the LORD has provided my portion, my cup, my lot and my beautiful inheritance? God has given me everything I could ever need for now and for eternity. Will I consider a soul tending reset?

How do you find rest when you are busy? Do you ever get caught up in hustle culture?

Next week, I will unpack the rest of Psalm 16 as a prescription for rest. There are five more verses that are rich with clear direction regarding finding rest in the land of hustle.

Lord, help me to see how I can intentionally seek rest in you. Help take that time away with you and guard my mind when I do. Help me to escape the “do more” lure. Draw me into the shelter of your surrounding presence. Amen

Do you ever feel like fear is being thrown around like confetti at a New Year’s Eve party?

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

Maybe it’s just me, but I have seen more conspiracy theories, dire warnings and messages of hopelessness shared by believers recently. Some of these items (photos, quotes, stories) were created by trolls. I’m not sure if these trolls actually live under a bridge, but they certainly enjoy taking up real estate on social media. These troll posts are created with a very destructive agenda. The words and the images are woven together to specifically gain an emotional reaction because that causes them to be shared and commented on. Posts that make us feel fearful are much more likely to gain social media traction.

However, “fear not” is commanded over 300 hundred times in the Bible. We are commanded to, “fear not.” God does not merely suggest to me that I “fear not.” He requires it.

God tells Isaiah the following regarding fear in a time of war.

This is what the Lord says to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people:

12 “Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.
13 The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear,
  he is the one you are to dread.
14 He will be a holy place; for both Israel and Judah he will be a stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall. And for the people of Jerusalem he will be a trap and a snare.
15 Many of them will stumble; they will fall and be broken, they will be snared and captured.”

16 Bind up this testimony of warning and seal up God’s instruction among my disciples.
17 I will wait for the Lord, who is hiding his face from the descendants of Jacob.
I will put my trust in him.

(Isaiah 8:11-17 NIV)

What does God think about conspiracy theories? Evidently, I am to practice discernment, and avoid herd mentality by rejecting trolls and their agenda.

Who or what am I to fear (respect)? I am to focus on God alone not my assessment of the situation or any insight I might think I have. Only God…can rescue, restore and create a true place of safety for me.

What if I spent as many minutes in God’s word as I do on social media posts?

How might that change my outlook? What if I prayed before I hit that share button or commented on that negative post? What if I committed to sharing a Bible verse on social media on a weekly basis?

The New Living Translation says, “Preserve the teaching of God; entrust his instructions to those who follow me.” (Isaiah 8:16) How can I be part of preserving the teachings of God and sharing them with other believers? Pray with me this week that we take this challenge seriously. We all have influence. How will we use it?

Steadfast Ways: Leaving Well

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

Keep your mouth free of perversity;
    keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
    fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
    and be steadfast in all your ways.

(Proverbs 4:24-26 NIV)

The words of my mouth

What happens when I share negative comments about someone or something with others? Does it elevate the mood of the group? Does it help everyone? Can it fan a small flame of discontent that rapidly turns into a destructive fire of criticism that could leave lasting damage?

The focus of my eyes

What happens when I am driving down the road and notice a commotion off to one side? Perhaps flashing blue and red lights? A stranded motorist? A wandering animal? A cluster of bike riders? If I fix my gaze too long on one of these, I might find my vehicle drifting in that direction with disastrous consequences.  

The paths for my feet

What happens when I give no thought to where I am going? Refuse to set goals? Avoid accountability? Go my own way without regarding others?

Proverbs 4:24-26 provides reveals a path to purpose.  In order to remain steadfast in all my ways, I must consider what I am saying, and where I plan to come and go. I am in a season of being called out to leave a church and a ministry. I have served for decades with these amazing people and have had many wonderful opportunities. Despite the clarity of God’s call to move on to a new mission, this leaving stuff is painful.

The words of my mouth

What I say in my goodbyes, and all I communicate will either empower those who continue on in my absence or cause them to become discouraged.

The focus of my eyes

Where I focus my attention will also affect those around me. Will I look at it all from my own limited perspective or ask God to show me what I need to see? Will I focus on my own needs and sadness? Or will I ask God to open my eyes to what he is showing me in this time of letting go?

The paths for my feet

In my departure, I have to consider what God has for me. I believe that he has purposely left me, not knowing my long-term destination. For a planner like me this is really hard. God has made it clear that I am to leave where I am now. He’s given me the next step and temporary stopover. So, I have the opportunity to stay very close to the Lord and wait to see.

Lord, even in this season of departure, keep me steadfast in my ways and your purpose. Reveal every next step, show me what I am to focus on, and please provide your Holy Spirit to guard my tongue. Amen

Which Way Am I Going? Psalm 1

/ Anthea Kotlan / 1 Comment

I was born without any internal sense of direction and have spent more time than I recall getting lost. I know very little of North, South, East, or West. I am even hard-pressed to judge distances. My children can testify to times spent circling around in the car trying to find our way home. Even maps can be confusing to me. Giving me a clear, concise set of directions is a lifesaver for me and the passengers in my vehicle.

I am filled with wonder when I open an app on my phone and enter a destination. Moments later, I have clear instructions to guide me wherever I need to go. If I make a mistake, it will even recalculate! I can get live traffic updates allowing me to determine alternate routes and saving me hours of frustration. Some apps will even help me remember where I parked my car.

Psalm 1 provides some detailed directions for followers of Jesus.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners nor sits in the seat of scoffers;(Psalm 1:1 ESV)

Where I Walk

As a follower of Jesus, I must consider the advice I seek, the stands I take, and the people I surround myself with. Where I choose to walk, stand and sit matters to God. I must seek Him first in these areas.

Who do I go to for advice? A Godly source of wisdom or crowdsourcing?

Where do I spend my time and money? Where my time and money are spent reveals my life’s priorities.

Where do I choose to rest and relax? Where do I lower my guard? I need to discern safe places for my soul to relax. I must consider the entertainment I am taking in, the books I read, and even the music I listen to.

But his delight is in the law he meditates day and night.
(Psalm 1:2 ESV)

Autopilot

What does it look like to delight? Do I enjoy reading, thinking, and applying God’s word to my daily life? God is providing principles to help me stay on track with Him, and I would be foolish to ignore them. I need to meditate on His word day and night because I am genuinely prone to wander off track without that daily and even nightly guidance. I must internalize God’s law so that it will become my autopilot.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.
(Psalm 1:3 ESV)

Streams of Water

In the part of Southeast Texas that I call home, we have streams of water that come in only two varieties. Too little rain sends us into drought, or too much threatens to drown us. A tree planted by streams of water will receive the moisture it needs to grow and be productive. The roots can go deep and tap into the stream. When it rains in moderation, the tree will get all it needs from above. And when it rains entirely too much (notice I did not say if but when), the stream will act as a conduit carrying the excess water away. This will preserve the tree from drowning.

The wicked are not so, but like chaff that the wind drives away.
(Psalm 1:4 ESV)

Rooted

The roots a tree sends deep down into the earth provide a pathway for nourishing and hydrating the tree. They also act as anchors when the winds of this world blow. A tree lacking a well-developed root system needs more to keep in place. It will be blown away like chaff. Daily and nightly meditation in God’s word gives our faith roots that provide security when life’s storm attempt to blow us away from God’s presence.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in judgement, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
(Psalm 1:5 ESV)

Wicked

The wicked, God warns us, will not survive His judgment. Sinners will eventually be separated from the righteous. God can and will sort it out. Somedays, I feel surrounded by those who champion all that is wrong and seem to succeed; I need this reminder.

“for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.”
(Psalm 1:6 ESV)

His Way

It seems here that God might be repeating Himself. Why do I need an additional reminder? He’s pointing out that despite how it might feel, the wicked will someday be gone. There will be an end to seeing headlines trumpeting evil’s victories, innocence lost, and violence rolling out like a plague. He is also reassuring me that He knows how to remain righteous, even when it might be unclear. Sometimes it is hard to discern the path that will please Him. However, He is always available and ready to answer my call for help. He knows where I am and will always provide a way to go on.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for the kindness of “turn by turn” directions in your word. Please help me to follow the path you have set for me. Please help me to see your perspective and your priorities. I know that I will be blessed to align myself with what You have for me.  In the name of Jesus, Amen

Persisting in Prayer

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” John 14:13

Does that mean I can pray anything, and God will answer it? Is God just like a special vending machine that I can insert a coin/prayer, special phrase and then what I prayed for will pop right out?

I don’t think prayer moves God to respond like that. This gives me great peace because sometimes I am praying all the wrong things and I don’t know it…yet.

The key phrase in Jesus’ instructions on prayer in this verse is, “Whatever you ask in my name.”  What I ask for must be consistent with God’s character and in line with His heart. When I accept Jesus’ invitation to pray, I spend time in God’s presence. If I choose to persist in prayer, the prolonged time in a humble posture of prayer can cause my heart to shift. As I begin to care for the things He cares for, I am slowly conformed to His will. Sometimes, I need to persist in prayer not because nagging is going to force God’s hand, but because the more time I spend with God the more I begin to sense His will causing my prayers slowly adjust to align with His greater plan.

If only I would arrive at prayer with an attitude of seeking His insight and not persist in unloading a long set of demands. How often have I insisted on continuing to pray for what I perceived as the best outcome? I only have limited perspective, and not the 360-degree view God has that is not even bound by time. His view is eternal. His perspective cannot even be contained by my earthbound mind.

When Jesus gave his disciples this teaching regarding prayer, he said that the primary purpose of answered prayers is for God’s glory. My prayers might be answered in some spectacular way, not to cause me to boast or take any credit but to show God’s power, grace, kindness and consistency. These answers to prayer in our broken world are small victories pointing to the ultimate victory Jesus had over sin. His death on the cross brought God all the glory. 

When it comes to tending our souls, prayer is something we must persist in. Through prayer, we experience transformation as we are ushered into the throne room. We surrender burdens we were never designed to carry. Burdens He is more than able to carry. Persisting in prayer is truly an essential soul tending practice, and it can be some of the best self-care.

Do you persist in prayer? Do you experience transformation in prayer?

On the Road with God

/ Anthea Kotlan / 4 Comments

As a child, I seldom had the opportunity to go to church. Looking back, I remember I was always a bit of a seeker. I wanted to know more about God, but He truly seemed so inaccessible. I can remember lying in my bed waiting to pray. I became convinced that since God was so busy, and surely many other people were praying, perhaps I needed to wait for my turn. So, I lay there with my hands clasped waiting. More often than not, I fell asleep before I had a chance to pray.

A few years of frustration went by and then my mother told me prayers needed a postage stamp in order to get up to Heaven. This made sense to me because when I sent my grandparents airmail letters to England, they always required a special stamp. My mother explained the stamp I needed was not one I bought at the post office.  Instead, it was the Lord’s Prayer. This prayer, she said, must be prayed first before I launched into any of my own personal petitions. Initially, I was relieved to finally discover this handy prayer secret. However, as time went on my ability to remember perfectly every word of the Lord’s Prayer was iffy at best.  Eventually I gave up. I decided my prayers would not make it up to God after all.

As a teenager, I came to know Jesus as my personal savior and was so blessed to have a number of women disciple me. Many of them taught me about prayer and corrected some of my misunderstandings.

My youth pastor’s wife did an amazing job of demonstrating how to live as a Christ follower. One Saturday she invited me to tag along as she drove out to a local retreat center to deliver something to her husband. On the road, the conversation between us flowed easily, and when I expressed concern about something she suggested we pray together. Seconds later she began to talk to God.

“Lord, we thank you that we can pray to you right now about whatever is on our hearts. You know that Anthea is quite worried about her grades in math…”

She continued to pray. She must have sensed somehow my concern. “And Lord would you help Anthea know that we can pray here in the car without closing our eyes, because I’m driving, and we don’t even have to kneel…”

As she prayed, I watched how she simply chatted with the Lord as we drove along in her station wagon. This might be why my car has so often served me well as a prayer closet. What a relief it was to see that God did not expect me to wait my turn to pray, or to have a particular memorized prayer that would guarantee access to him. He’s available all the time, and conversational style prayer is quite acceptable to him. While it is not the only way to pray, it is a tool in my prayer kit that I still use on a daily basis.

Conversations with God on the road can be some of the very best ways to tend our souls. 

How about you? Do your prayers sound like conversations? Where do you like to pray?