David

Prayer Points for a Betrayed Soul – Psalm 55b

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We need to stop overestimating our problems and underestimating prayer.

Fr. Jon Beadle

The betrayal of a friend cuts deep down, even to my soul. Someone so close can wound in a way that someone at a distance cannot. This kind of problem can feel too heavy to bear.

When the tea kettle of my emotions rolls to a full boil, what releases the steam is a call to a trusted friend. Once the overwhelm is vented, I might quickly move on and become distracted by the demands of daily life. A friend’s sympathy provides balm for a troubled soul, but what does God call me to do?

In the first half of Psalm 55, David speaks of a devastating betrayal from someone inside his faith community. He takes his wounding and weariness directly to God in prayer. In the second half of the psalm, he sheds more light on his method of prayer.

16 But I call to God, and the LORD will save me.
17 Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.
18 He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me.
19 God will give ear and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old, Selah
because they do not change and do not fear God.
(Psalm 55:16-19 ESV)

Declaration

David’s prayer begins with a declaration based on God’s character, not his situation.

“the LORD will save me.” verse 16

Schedule

David commits to a schedule of prayer.

Morning, noon, and evening he prays.  Verse 17

When my life feels chaotic, and emotions run high, scheduled prayer provides a pathway to soul-tending and spiritual self-care.

Redemptive Results

“He redeems my soul in safety from the battle” verse 18

God redeems our souls when we commit to tending them in prayer.  He restores us, not just out of the flames, but allows us to become stronger and more resilient. Taking time for confession clears out what can only weaken us.

God Hears and Humbles

“God will give ear and humble them” – verse 19

As I pray more, it becomes clear that it is not up to me to change the hearts or minds of my enemies because God will humble them. This humbling may lead to their repentance, but I don’t need to figure that out.

20 My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant.
21 His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil,
    yet they were drawn swords.
(Psalm 55:20-21 ESV)

Full Report

David reports to God all the wrongs done.

Hand against his friend, violating a covenant – verse 20

He shares with God his betrayal.

Buttery speech, words softer than oil, yet war in his heart

Sometimes our betrayer continues to fool others with sweet talk and soothing words. All the while, God knows what is in our enemy’s hearts. He is never deceived.

Burdens Cast Away

22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit
    the righteous to be moved.

23 But you, O God, will cast them down  into the pit of destruction; men of blood and treachery
    shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in you.

(Psalm 55:22-23 ESV)

When I cast my burdens on the LORD, he responds with sustaining strength. If not, I will become too exhausted from carrying what I was not designed to carry. God will hear my complaints and take care of the needed judgment. I can trust God to bring justice in His way and time.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for creating a safe space for me to come to with my wounded heart. Knowing you will act on my behalf, I pour out my pain, sadness, and the details of my betrayal. Help me to pray more and keep accounts short with you. Thank you for redeeming my soul and healing me from a friend’s wounds. I will trust you today to bring justice and resolution, in Jesus’ name.

Can I Be Righteously Angry and Not Sin? Psalm 52

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David penned Psalm 52 when he likely felt consumed by grief and outrage. King Saul heard that David had sought prayer and counsel from a priest named Ahimelech. When King Saul learned the news, he ordered the massacre of Ahimelech and all the priests that served with him.

David wrote this psalm directed to Doeg, the Edomite who led the massacre. He had every reason to be angry, but David chose to bring his anger before the Lord rather than executing his version of vengeance.

Vengeance

What do we do when vengeance seems perfectly reasonable? How do we process righteous anger?

1 Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man? The steadfast love of God endures all the day.
2 Your tongue plots destruction, like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit.
3 You love evil more than good, and lying more than speaking what is right. Selah
4 You love all words that devour, O deceitful tongue.
5 But God will break you down forever; he will snatch and tear you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living. Selah
(Psalm 52:1-5 ESV)

Experiencing wrongdoing is inevitable. Whether through outright deception, neglect, broken promises, or betrayal, it takes a toll on our hearts and minds. How should we respond? David vents his anger against Doeg but reminds himself of God’s steadfast love and confronts Doeg’s deception before leaving any reckoning to God. When faced with wrongdoing, do you turn to friends or God and surrender the desire for revenge?

6 The righteous shall see and fear, and shall laugh at him, saying,
7 “See the man who would not make God his refuge, but trusted in the abundance of his riches
    and sought refuge in his own destruction!” 
(Psalm 52:6-7 ESV)

True freedom can be found knowing that God’s just punishment will be displayed for all the righteous. All the wrongs will be brought out into the light. Even those with wealth and status are no match for God’s justice. No wrongdoer will escape.

8 But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God
    forever and ever.
9 I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.
(Psalm 52:8-9 ESV)

Vitality

Unlike those who seek evil, David compares himself to a green olive tree in the house of God. David chooses to trust in the steadfast love of God forever. He chooses an eternal perspective knowing that God is not limited or bound by time. He decides to sink his roots into God’s soil and remain close to God’s house because these things are vital to growing our faith. He doesn’t want his anger to stagnate his relationship with the Lord. He wants his faith to flourish and produce fruit.

Victory

Once again, as is His habit, David praises and celebrates God before the victory has been realized. He declares God’s righteousness and ability to bring complete justice. He promises to wait, watch, and draw close to God in the waiting time. He stands in complete faith.

How about you?

How will you respond to anger taking up residence in your own heart and mind? It is not a matter of “if” you will ever get angry, but when. Our broken world is packed to the brim with examples of wrongdoing. Perhaps our anger might be even more intense when someone hurts or betrays those we love. Perhaps anger and outrage have become so expected in our society that we no longer believe we need God’s help to tend our souls.

Take time today to process any anger you may have picked up recently. Don’t allow it to fester or slow your growth in the Lord.  Surrender it all just like David did.

Prayer

Lord, I seek your refuge today and know there is a safe space to vent my anger. I can be honest with you and entrust you to bring about what is needed. Help me to grow in my wisdom and love of God. Please use Holy Spirit to cleanse me from all brokenness. Thank you that I can celebrate the victory only You can bring. Thank you that You can and will make all things right.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Making Room for Repentance

/ Anthea Kotlan / 5 Comments

Psalm 38 offers a liturgy of lament for when it all goes wrong, and the sin is mine.

Those times when I realize I am the one who said or did something causing damage or disappointment to someone else. While I can pull out some handy well-worn excuses, the reality of my sin blares like a stuck car horn on a quiet Saturday morning parked right by the house. The sound of that horn and the implication of what I have done sincerely disturb me.

I would much prefer to skip suffering and leapfrog over lament, but stuffing away guilt and remorse will only lead to more and more damage. Like the psalmist, I require God’s mercy. I need to make room for repentance.

1O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath!
2 For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me.
3 There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin.
(Psalm 38:1-2 ESV)

Unrepentant Sin leads to Structural Damage

The longer it remains buried under the surface, the more damage it will do to my entire being. I was not designed to carry sin. The weight of carrying it around is too much.

4 For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.
5 My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; all the day I go about mourning.
7 For my sides are filled with burning, and there is no soundness in my flesh.
(Psalm 38:4-7 ESV)

Unrepentant Sin’s Damage Quietly Grows under the Surface

When a wound is not cleaned and cleared out, it may fester and cause a noxious odor.

A few months ago, after clearing out a storage unit for a family member, a tiny scratch or abrasion allowed an infection to enter my wrist. Slowly but surely, a hot red patch of skin expanded. I was busy and tried to ignore it. It was painful, but an injury to my hand caused me to miss the signs of a growing infection. I attributed the throbbing pain to a previous sprain. I tried pain patches, hydrocortisone cream, and ice packs, but things only worsened.

Finally, a friend expressed concern and encouraged me to have my doctor take a look. She examined my arm and immediately left the room to fetch an associate to review her findings. Moments later, I was sent to the pharmacy to fill a prescription for a potent antibiotic.

8 I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.
9 O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off.
(Psalm 38:8-11 ESV)

Unrepentant Sin Leads to Isolation

God designed me to live in a community with others in mutually beneficial relationships. Unrepentant sin causes me to pull away and hide at a time when I am in the greatest need of support. Sooner or later, I need others to pray for me, encourage me, and offer advice or perspective. Life is hard. Traveling solo leaves me in a spiritual echo chamber.

12 Those who seek my life lay their snares; those who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.
13 But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear, like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
14 I have become like a man who does not hear, and in whose mouth are no rebukes.
(Psalm 38:12-14 ESV)

Unrepentant sin disorientates me and takes my voice

Sound helps orient me on my faith journey. Hearing God’s word daily keeps me on track. Listening to praise and worship music fills me with hope. Sin dulls my appetite for God’s word and leads me to seek escapism in my media choices.  

Unrepentant sin comes between the Holy Spirit and me. I can no longer hear the still, small voice of guidance. Also, I lose my voice when I am not receiving regular replenishment from this promised helper. Doubts crowd my mind. The voice of the accuser is amplified. I get stuck and silent.

Prayer

Lord, I need Your mercy to cleanse me of the things done and left undone that have wronged others and failed You. Order my life in a way that leaves room for regular repentance. Please help me to acknowledge my sins. Send a fresh wave of your Holy Spirit to examine me. Help me repent of every sin and keep me from denial. I pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, and I wait for your reply. Amen

Can Music Be Good for Your Body, Soul, and Spirit? Psalm 33

/ Anthea Kotlan / 3 Comments

What does music do?

  • It can reduce stress by reducing the production of cortisol and increasing the release of stress-reducing neurotransmitters. It can also reduce stress by reducing a patient’s sense of isolation and helping them reconnect with positive places within themselves. 
  • It can help healthy circulation by reducing blood pressure and stabilizing the heart rate. 
  • It can strengthen the immune system by triggering the production of gamma globulin A and killer cells. 
  • It can help improve mood by increasing the production of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. 
  • It can help patients manage pain better than medication alone. 

(Source: Listen4Life Foundation website)

Called to Make Music and Praise

Clearly, music is good medicine for our bodies. In Psalm 33, verse 1, David talks about how “praise befits the upright.” It seems that our creator designed us to be at our best when engaged in music and song.  In the first three verses of Psalm 33, David directs believers to sing, shout, give thanks, compose new songs, and play instruments.  

1 Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous! Praise befits the upright.
2 Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!
3 Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.
Psalm 33:1-3 ESV

Since each verse begins with the command form of these verbs, we can assume these activities are required. All believers are called to the ministry of making music to praise God: those who have talent and those who do not.

4 For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness.
5 He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the steadfast love of the Lord.
6 By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host.
7 He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap; he puts the deeps in storehouses.
8 Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!
9 For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.
(Psalm 33: 4-9 ESV)

Every day I can look around me and see God’s faithful work. In His grace and mercy, He created a beautiful world that continues to amaze me. Seeing a sunset, a sunrise, or my beautiful granddaughter’s smile fills my heart with praise for Him.

 The Lord spoke into existence all we see around us. We learn new things about Him by observing the complexity of His creation. Scientists continue to discover new creatures, new systems, and new ways they live.

God demonstrates His power by gathering the water of the sea, controlling the waves, and knowing the depth of the oceans. Watching waves roll onto the shore captures my imagination as I can see the powerful rhythm the Lord alone controls, and I might even catch a glimpse of all that lives below those waves. Each drop of water is teeming with aquatic life.

God’s creation inspires us to praise Him.

The Counsel of the Lord

10 The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the peoples.
11 The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations.
12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!
13 The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man;
14 from where he sits enthroned, he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth,
15 he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds.
(Psalm 33:10-15 ESV)

When the counsel of the nations is compared with the counsel of the Lord, every human’s limited perspective is revealed. God’s wisdom rolls out over generations because it is based on His eternal perspective. He can see everything in the past, the present, and the future. He knows every heart and all about things done and left undone.

16 The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.
17 The war horse is a false hope for salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue.
18 Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love,
19 that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.
20 Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.
21 For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.
22 Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.
(Psalm 33:16-22 ESV)

What cannot save us?

Kings and governments of this world may have mighty armies and terrible weapons, but their might cannot bring the ultimate victory. Even when they appear to win the war and defeat God’s people, they will not gain eternal victory.

What can save us?

God’s steadfast love, His deliverance, and His provision of gladness and hope.

Sometimes God calls us into a season of “soul waiting.” Times when we don’t see anything changing in the physical world, and we are desperate for spiritual change and growth. These are likely times when the breakthrough may only come through praise—quite the opposite of how I might want to respond to waiting. Try praising the Lord by singing, shouting, giving thanks, composing new songs, and playing instruments. A praise break or season might be just what is needed to shift my limited perspective and remind my soul of the truth of who the Lord is.

A Prayer for Times of Soul Waiting  

Lord, thank You that behold, Your eye is on us. Give us the ability to fear and revere You and continue to hold onto the steadfast hope found only in You. Thank you that You are our help and shield. Strengthen our waiting souls with resilience. Anoint us with the oil of gladness. Inspire us to praise You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

How about you? What kind of music tends your soul?

Are You Bargaining with God in the Waiting Room? Psalm 26

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Hospital waiting rooms are a great equalizer. All who enter join the fellowship of uncertainty. Plans and predictions, once held tightly, slowly tick away with the pace of watched clocks. I have logged many hours in these places over the years. Often arriving flustered and departing relieved, but now I am back again in crisis.

1 Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.
2 Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind.
3 For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness.
(Psalm 26:1-3 ESV)

Desperation

Once again, in Psalm 26, David cries out to God in desperation. He approaches the throne of God with evidence to prove his worthiness. He arrives ready to bargain. David offers a mix of his good works and his desire to be proven worthy. Nevertheless, he ends up falling back into God’s faithfulness.

Hospital waiting rooms and dire situations in life bring out the bargainer in all of us. We hope to win over the Lord to our case with evidence of our good works and excellent behavior. However, we always come up short as we are tested and evaluated. Like the psalmist, we end up circling back to our desperate need to walk in God’s faithfulness and acknowledge the fullness of His steadfast love.

God’s Steadfast Love

God’s steadfast love for me is: 

Not based on my abilities or gifts.

Not based on what I do or don’t do.

Not based on whether I deserve it.

What can I do in challenging seasons of waiting?

4 I do not sit with men of falsehood, nor do I consort with hypocrites.
5 I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked.
6 I wash my hands in innocence and go around your altar, O Lord,
7 proclaiming thanksgiving aloud, and telling all your wondrous deeds.
8 O Lord, I love the habitation of your house and the place where your glory dwells
(Psalm 26:4-8 ESV)

Whom I choose to wait with matters.

The company I keep influences me. Who can I gather around me in seasons of difficult waiting to hold me up in prayer? Am I willing to reach out vulnerably and ask for support?

Somehow, and it is certainly challenging, I must find ways to spend time with the Lord even when my routines are wholly disrupted and upended. Perhaps the psalmist’s reference to washing hands points to my need for soul hygiene.

Confession

Have I taken time to confess my sins and ask the Holy Spirit for an inspection?

Draw Near

Going around the altar likely points to my need to draw near God, even when I can’t go to a Sunday service because of a need to keep vigil at the hospital. How can I set aside time to sit in God’s presence and seek His guidance in places that don’t have altars?

I believe that when we seek Him, He will make new spaces available.

  • A beautiful view out the window reminds me of His creation.
  • The kindness of a nurse reveals His care for me and those I love.
  • Singing hymns and praise songs reminds me of His goodness.
  • God’s word is gloriously portable.

Proclaiming Gratitude

Verse 7 reminds me of the value of proclaiming gratitude.

What can I stop and give thanks for right now? Could I make a list? Who could I share my thanksgivings with?

9 Do not sweep my soul away with sinners, nor my life with bloodthirsty men,
10 in whose hands are evil devices, and whose right hands are full of bribes
(Psalm 26:9-10 ESV)

Drawing near to the Lord requires me to separate myself from sinners, bloodthirsty men, evil devices, and hands filled with bribes. My first thought is to reassure myself that I have not been hanging out with the bloodthirsty recently. However, who is God calling me to separate myself from? In a difficult season, I might need to take a few steps back from those who don’t respect my boundaries or try to pile false guilt upon me.

Evil Devices

We cannot compartmentalize our spiritual life, keep company with God one day, and keep company with evil another. The term “evil devices” could remind me to consider what I spend my time focusing on. What will I fill my mind and heart with during a difficult season when I might be far from my faith community? It’s far too easy to allow electronic devices greater access to my mind and heart in hours spent waiting. While I don’t believe cell phones or tablets are evil devices, I know the Evil One would love to capture my attention and draw me away. How can I redeem the time I have? Could I read more scripture on my phone or use a texting app to share thanksgivings with a believing friend?

11 But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; redeem me, and be gracious to me.
12 My foot stands on level ground; in the great assembly I will bless the Lord.
(Psalm 26:11-12 ESV)

Walk in Truth

The world pulls and tugs on me daily to move away from seeking the Lord. It can be gentle and almost imperceptible or an all-out tug of war.

Every single day, we can choose to walk in the truth of God’s active redemption. I stand on level ground because of the saving work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Walking in redemption based on Christ alone removes the pressure I may feel to get it all right because I can’t.

Finally, verse 12 speaks to our need to declare the truth of the Gospel aloud in the assembly with other believers. We all must be reminded to surrender every day and sometimes every hour if I am candid.

Do you find yourself in a season of waiting rooms? Are you living in the tension of knowing God has something good to come forth from a difficult season but not seeing it just yet?

I believe that we may often find ourselves there on this side of Heaven. However, the Lord is always ready and willing to join us.

Prayer for the Waiting Room

Father, as I sit in the waiting room, help me to see that your steadfast love is before my eyes,

 and help me to wait for your faithfulness. Please guide me to stay close to you by confessing my sins and keeping short accounts with you. Help me to proclaim thanksgiving aloud and tell all about your wondrous deeds even in dire situations. Please guard my heart and mind against evil devices. Please help me to walk with integrity. Please continue to redeem me and the minutes spent waiting by the power of your graciousness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.   

Can Fearing the Lord Reduce my Anxiety? Psalm 34b

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Some families pass down an inheritance of precious jewelry while others share treasured recipes written on weathered cards. Other families gift each generation with stocks or bonds. Some families even pass the ownership of a family business to the next generation.

Sadly, my family held on to the tradition of passing down a legacy of anxiety for the last few generations. Fears about finances, betrayal, and mental health were regularly stoked in my family of origin. Each child was guided down a well-worn path of anticipating worst-case scenarios. Criticism and judgment loomed largely at any gathering. In recent years, I have pursued Christian counseling to begin to dismantle the habits of anxiety in my own life.

In the second section of Psalm 34, the Lord offers a lesson on the fear of the LORD through His servant David.  

11 Come, O children, listen to me;  I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
(Psalm 34:11 ESV)

What if cultivating the fear and reverence of the Lord is an antidote for anxiety?

In my mind’s eye, I can see the Lord inviting me to draw near to Him and sit down. He wants to gather His people close and give us a gift if we will only slow down long enough to listen to His counsel. My anxiety dissipates when I choose to fear and revere the Lord and not obsess about my worries and concerns.

12 What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully.
14 Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
(Psalm 34:12-14 ESV)

He begins with rhetorical questions in verse 12.

Do you want to live a long life?  

Do you want to see good?

On any given day, everyone would likely answer yes to both questions. Even tucked into the second question is a nugget of precious guidance. Someone who wishes to live long and prosper, what does he or she see? Good

Do I look for the goodness of the Lord daily?  

What if looking for the goodness of God actually allows me to find it? What if failing to do so causes me more significant anxiety?

The second piece of wisdom is found in verse 13. Can I keep my lips from evil and lies? I might very quickly say, yes, of course. I won’t lie. However, on any given day, do I speak negatively about others who are made in His image? My words reflect my heart’s attitude. The ones I speak to others and the ones I speak over myself.

Recently, I was spending time with someone who regularly and fluently speaks about God’s goodness and His people’s goodness. I mentioned a mutual friend, and her immediate response was to say, “I just love her.” Her declaration immediately pointed the conversation in a positive direction leaving no room for criticism or complaint.

Do I speak of the goodness of the Lord and His people on a daily basis?

Verse 14 challenges me to consider where I am giving my attention. The Lord advises me to turn away from evil and do good.

In a 24-hour news-saturated society, turning away from evil becomes increasingly difficult. Stories of the evil deeds of man compete for our attention. At times, the depravity of man has become a competitive sport. News outlets compete to showcase evil on repeat.  This leaves the impression that crime rates are skyrocketing and the world is overrun with violence. Is that accurate?

Within my lifetime, I have observed a tremendous societal change. Now that news services are running at all hours of the night and day, more stories must be created to fill that air time. With increasing global connectivity, we can access reports about crime all over the world that we didn’t have access to just a few decades ago. Is there actually an increase in evil in the world today? Or are we racing to highlight it at every turn?

News headlines shared on social media are cleverly crafted to draw readers in to click on the story and learn more grisly details. I have fallen into this trap myself.

What would it look like if anytime any of us heard about evil, we chose to do something good? What if anytime I listened to a story of evil, I decided to tell a story about God’s people doing good?

Am I listening to stories of the goodness of the Lord and His work through His people, or am I focused on a showcase of evil?

Do I seek peace daily? In The Message version of verse 14, Eugene Peterson chose to use the phrase, “embracing peace.” Imagine for a moment the image of that. What would it look like to become more intimately familiar with peace? To keep company with it regularly? How could I go and spend time in peaceful places regularly? Could I sit outside for five or fifteen minutes and watch the clouds go by? Remembering the Lord is the one who moves the earth and the sky. Knowing He holds it all together ushers peace into my soul.

Do I pursue peace so I can understand the goodness of the Lord?

Spending time in peaceful places is a proven strategy to reduce anxiety. Being outside can help reset our nervous system exhausted by remaining on high alert for so long. If the weather does not permit spending time in nature, seeking out a sacred space such as a chapel would also provide a brief respite. Even a museum filled with glorious art could be a place where we can embrace peace. Sometimes a peaceful physical location is not possible, so taking a 5-minute break listening to music with your eyes closed could be an excellent opportunity to reset.

Where do you take time daily to embrace peace?

Finally, it seems that anxiety in our society may be at epidemic levels. I hear about it everywhere I go. How about you? How do you handle anxiety in yourself or others? What is the Lord revealing to you in all of this?

A Prayer for an Anxious Heart and Mind

Lord, we long to see and experience your goodness every single day. Please help us, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to cultivate reverence and worship you with our lives. Please help us to keep our tongues from speaking evil. Please help us to tell about your goodness and talk about your people in ways that build up and encourage. Please help us to turn away from evil and constantly seek to see and experience your goodness. Lord, show us how to embrace and pursue Your peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

How do you tend a troubled soul? Psalm 6

/ Anthea Kotlan / 2 Comments

When it rains, everything seems wet

Dark clouds descend, obscuring my view

The rattle of raindrops muffles the sounds of life

And I am cocooned in sadness

“A Weathered Heart” by Anthea Kotlan

This poem reflects a few aspects of depression. If you have ever experienced a season of depression or if someone you love has dealt with depression, some of this might resonate with you.

The book of psalms is a proven place to find respite and empathy when I am dealing with difficult emotions or challenges. The authors of the psalms, particularly David, poured out anguish, fear, anger, jealousy, and joy.

What if I read Psalm 6 through the lens of depression?

Depression can be like a relentless enemy seeking out its target in the dark of the night and remaining heavily upon the victim for days, weeks, months, or even years.

David writes in Psalm 6 about his struggles with a “troubled soul.” This psalm features both lament and repentance.

1 O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.
3 My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O Lord—how long?
(Psalm 6:1-3 ESV)

Depression causes physical pain and false condemnation. Sufferers can lose perspective and become overwhelmed by the length and breadth of their misery. Time slows to the consistency of molasses. Healing of the body and the heart seems far out of reach.

4 Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise?
(Psalm 6:4-5 ESV)

The psalmist cries out to God in desperation. Depression causes a loss of hope and the ability to see any future. However, David declares God’s steadfast love over himself amid his pain.

God will deliver those who cry out to Him because of His steadfast love.

6 I am weary with my moaning; every night, I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
(Psalm 6:6-7 ESV)

Depression zaps energy and loads the heart down with grief, making it hard to sleep at night (verse 6). David’s couch (or bed) is drenched in tears at night. Then, in the middle of the night, isolation crowds in, causing someone to feel completely desperate. The darkness outside disorients the soul even more.

8 Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer.
(Psalm 6:8-9 ESV)

In these verses, David declares over himself the truth that God hears his weeping and his pleas. God also accepts David’s prayers. To know that you are listened to and seen is vital in a season of depression.

As a friend, are you willing to practice being present with a friend who is suffering? Can you go and sit in the hard times without minimizing or dismissing their concerns? This is the hard and brave work of the Kingdom of God.

10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.
(Psalm 6:10 ESV)

David declares how God settles scores and turns enemies away in this final verse. God protects our reputations and reverses expected outcomes. He redeems.

Prayer

Lord, I give thanks today because you hear my prayers and pleas. You know my heart and mind when I become overwhelmed with crushing sadness. Even my darkest thoughts are safe in your hands. You are my refuge in overwhelming times of grief. In the night, you provide the light of hope, and I will run to you again and again.

When my loved ones feel crushed by sadness, help me to be willing to draw near and be present with them. Give me the strength to sit in sorrow. Even when I don’t have the answers, let me be an agent of your love in the dark of the night.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

**Sometimes depression arrives in our lives due to sad and difficult situations. However, depression can also come about due to much more profound and complex issues requiring medical intervention. If you or a friend are struggling with depression, it is always wise to seek a complete evaluation from your doctor or a licensed counselor. Isolation and shame only delay the ability to seek long-term sustainable solutions.

Should I Fear Fasting? Psalm 35

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment
empty plate with fork and spoon crossed

During the season of Lent, there can be many calls to use fasting as a spiritual discipline.

  • no red meat on fridays
  • stay off social media
  • pick one thing you really love and give it up for the season

In most Christian circles you will rarely hear fasting mentioned, and few will have read anything about it. And yet it’s mentioned in Scripture more times than even something as important as baptism (about seventy-seven times for fasting to seventy-five for baptism).

Donald S. Whitney
“Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life”


 

I was afraid to fast.

I grew up in a home where disordered eating played as a background playlist on loop. To this day, my mother will evaluate my food intake. Anxiety, an honored guest, typically joins my mother and me for every meal we share. Am I eating enough? Have I ordered something that meets her approval? If we go out to a restaurant, I can expect her to suggest I help her eat the food on her plate because surely it is too much for her. I must help finish what she can’t see wasting.

Second, only to my mother’s food anxiety, comes my mother’s health anxiety. Let’s just say, I may have been raised with the idea that my body lacked certain abilities to deal with everyday stresses. My blood sugar was far too unstable. My coordination and physical strength were things I simply couldn’t expect to have. I could easily get hurt doing normal things. So, skipping a meal or two was far too risky. Ironically, it was during a time when I was preparing for surgery that I discovered I could miss a meal or two or three without passing out or experiencing some other dire consequences.

To be clear fasting is not only about giving up food. God may call His followers to give up any number of things. In this piece, I will be focusing on fasting from food, but there are many other ways to fast.

For years, fasting food, as a spiritual discipline, was not available to me.  Recently, God made it clear that He wanted me to learn to trust Him in this area. He gently called me out of a toxic dependence on avoiding fasting out of fear.

Unhooking toxic disordered eating patterns from the invitation to fast from food challenged me to even greater dependence upon God. Asking the Holy Spirit to examine my heart and check my motivations became essential.  I am continuing to disconnect fasting from becoming a weight-loss tool for me. The struggle is indeed real for many believers caught up in diet culture as I was for decades.

“Fasting from any nourishment, activity, involvement or pursuit—for any season—sets the stage for God to appear. Fasting is not a tool to pry wisdom out of God’s hands or to force needed insight about a decision. Fasting is not a tool for gaining discipline or developing piety (whatever that might be). Instead, fasting is the bulimic act of ridding ourselves of our fullness to attune our senses to the mysteries that swirl in and around us.”

Dan B. Allender, PHD

As Dr. Dan Allender explains, what I gained from fasting was an opportunity to attune my heart to God’s heart.  

Saul, David’s mortal enemy, pursued him for decades. In Psalm 35, David cries out to God for help and support.

1 Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me.
2 Take up shield and armor; arise and come to my aid.
3 Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to me, “I am your salvation.”

4 May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot my ruin
    be turned back in dismay.
5 May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them away;
6 may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.

7 Since they hid their net for me without cause and without cause dug a pit for me,
8 may ruin overtake them by surprise—may the net they hid entangle them, may they fall into the pit, to their ruin.
9 Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord and delight in his salvation.
10 My whole being will exclaim, “Who is like you, Lord? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them.”
Psalm 35:1-10 NIV

David found himself fully relying on God’s ability to rescue him. His desperation draws him closer and closer to God.

11 Ruthless witnesses come forward; they question me on things I know nothing about.
12 They repay me evil for good and leave me like one bereaved.
13 Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth and humbled myself with fasting. When my prayers returned to me unanswered,
14 I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother.
15 But when I stumbled, they gathered in glee; assailants gathered against me without my knowledge. They slandered me without ceasing.
16 Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked; they gnashed their teeth at me.

Psalm 35:11-16 NIV

In verse 13, David talks about how fasting brings about humility and causes a heart shift. Fasting attunes hearts to what God cares about. The enemies remain, and David continues his lament and mourning. However, David feels his heart shift from anger to empathy. He begins to mourn and weep for his enemies. Only God could bring such a change.

While David’s attitude toward his enemies shifts in profound way, his enemies continue along the same path of vengeance. They mock and slander him when he stumbles.

17 How long, Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my precious life from these lions.
18 I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among the throngs I will praise you.
19 Do not let those gloat over me who are my enemies without cause; do not let those who hate me without reason maliciously wink the eye.
20 They do not speak peaceably, but devise false accusations against those who live quietly in the land.
21 They sneer at me and say, “Aha! Aha! With our own eyes we have seen it.”
Psalm 35:17-21 NIV

David’s enemies are relentless in their bad behavior. Somewhere between these verses, David chooses a different response from what surrounds him. He promises to praise God. Even after he declares this he continues to be surrounded by false accusations and sneering. His promise to praise reveals a spark of hope being fanned into a flame of passion.  

22 LORD, you have seen this; do not be silent. Do not be far from me, Lord.
23 Awake, and rise to my defense! Contend for me, my God and Lord.
24 Vindicate me in your righteousness, LORD my God; do not let them gloat over me.
25 Do not let them think, “Aha, just what we wanted!” or say, “We have swallowed him up.”
26 May all who gloat over my distress be put to shame and confusion; may all who exalt themselves over me be clothed with shame and disgrace.
27 May those who delight in my vindication shout for joy and gladness; may they always say, “The LORD be exalted, who delights in the well-being of his servant.”
28 My tongue will proclaim your righteousness, your praises all day long.

Psalm 35:22-28 NIV

David praises God amid pain and offers these praises all day long. In Psalm 35 David moves from lamenting his hopeless situation to proclaiming God’s righteousness and praising Him all day.

Choosing to fast can powerfully propel me into a closeness with God’s heart and His desires for me. In this position of dependence, I become more attuned to what God delights in despite my circumstances. The Lord begins to allow me to catch a glimpse of some of the mysteries that swirl inside. My empathy grows for others and bonds me even more closely with God and His heart for all He created. Fasting is both a tool and a gift from my heavenly father. He knows exactly what I need.

What experience do you have with fasting food as a spiritual tool? What questions do you have about fasting? Have you chosen to fast from something this Lent?

How Can I Respond to False Accusations? Lessons on God’s Love Learned from a Man on the Run – Psalm 18

/ Anthea Kotlan / 2 Comments
Person running away

False accusations have a way of wearing me down. Initially the truth stands guard on my heart, and I feel righteous and free and can put the lie away. However, sometimes a false accusation returns days, months or years later. Perhaps it is something with a small grain of truth that has been manipulated by the enemy? Maybe it is something to do with a fear I have?

False accusations can begin to feel like a dripping faucet, initially a small annoyance but eventually becoming something that distracts me or exhausts me. I feel I must defend myself. I need to set the record straight. I want to fight for what is right.

The culture around me reinforces messages of offense at every turn.

  • Don’t take that lying down
  • Tell everyone you know that the false accuser is wrong
  • Gather a group of people to support you and attack the accuser
  • Seek the revenge you are entitled to
  • Get the last word on the matter

While I have never been pursued by a murderous king, I can relate to David’s conflict with Saul. David faced so many false accusations from Saul. When a shepherd boy named David was anointed and chosen by God as the future King of Israel, it touched off a twenty-year conflict. The current king, Saul waged war and pursued David relentlessly. He began with false accusations and escalated the chase to a murderous rage.

What did David pursue in response to Saul?

Revenge?

Support from others?

A violent solution?

Even when David could have killed Saul, he continued to seek God, first and foremost.

On the day that David was delivered from all of His enemies (the ones Saul used against him), David wrote Psalm 18. The psalm is all about giving glory to God and never mentions Saul. In one of his first acts as the new king, David directs his new subjects to praise God. While on the run from King Saul, David had learned some hard-earned lessons about God’s character and actions.

What does David learn about God?

  1. God hears us when we call out to Him.
  2. God shows up to fight for us.
  3. God rescues us in unmistakable ways
  4. God delights in us.
1 I love you, Lord, my strength.

2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

3 I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.

4 The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

5 The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

Psalm 18:1-6 NIV
  1. God hears, listens and responds (verse 6) Nothing escapes his notice, and He is willing and able to rescue. Even when we can’t see Him, He hears us and knows all about what we are struggling with.
7 The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.

8 Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

9 He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.

10 He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.

11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.

12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

13 The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

Psalm 18:7-13 NIV

2. God fights for those He loves, so we don’t need to. (Verse 13). God can balance out an unfair advantage –when a king pursues a shepherd boy with vengeance and great resource. God’s supernatural battle strategies can’t be explained away or ignored.

14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning he routed them.

15 The valleys of the sea were exposed, and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, Lord, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.

19 He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
Psalm 18:14-19 NIV

3. God draws me out of my depth, out of my way and into his firm grasp. When he rescues me, He does so in a way that defies the idea that I did it myself. His power is demonstrated for all to see. The day of my disaster (vs. 18) transforms into a day of giving thanks for God’s great merciful rescue.

4. God delights in me and you and asks me to focus on Him not my accusers or pursuers. He will take care of them for me and you.

This twenty-year conflict with Saul prepared David for one of the greatest challenges of his life – serving as the King of God’s people. During a very difficult season, David got closer to God by placing his focus on that relationship.

Today, I will take time to turn away from focusing on those who annoy or accuse me, and I will direct my energy towards giving God praise for all He does. I will pray through the first 19 verses of Psalm 18 and ask God to show me how He is always fighting for me and making provision.

How Can I Avoid Anger’s Trap? Psalm 5:7-12

/ Anthea Kotlan / 1 Comment

What is a trap? Something that collects and keeps something else that eventually may or may not be released.

I believe that anger a problem because it could lead to some damaging words or actions. However, it is also a problem if it is stuffed down deep into our souls. I believe there it can cause deep and lasting damage. Eventually, the anger may surprise us with how heavy it has become. Much like a stone that is weighing us down.

There is nothing like sitting on hard plastic chairs for hours waiting for my turn in a line moving like molasses to bring out the very best in me. Recently I spent most of a Monday assisting my eighty-year-old mother with renewing her driver’s license at a local office of the Department of Public Safety. I had made an “online appointment” three months earlier but arrived and found two very long lines snaking out into the parking lot. We waited in these lines for about twenty minutes and discovered we were missing a document. We got back in the car and drove home to find it and just over an hour later, we returned to begin the process again. This time, after the thirty-minute wait outside, we gained access to the building and found our way to those hard plastic chairs. We waited there for two more hours. As we sat together, I began to notice more and more people were processed through and all the while my mother’s name was not called. Finally, frustration was boiling over in my heart and mind. My inner advocate propelled me up from my seat to ask, as politely as I could, how much longer we might have to wait. The receptionist went to go check and I found out that my mother’s name had never been re-entered into the queue. We were then assured that we would be the very next customer.

Honestly, when I realized an error had been made, harsh words almost spilled from my mouth. An hour earlier my mother had tried to advocate for herself with this receptionist, and she had been dismissed. I swallowed my frustration hard as I sat back down to wait about twenty more hard-plastic-chair minutes, which I believe should count twice. When I finally arrived back home, about eight hours after I had initially left my house, I did not process all that anger and aggravation. Those strong feelings turned into hard rocks that weighed me down for weeks. Good soul care requires that I be proactive and find healthy ways to process anger, fear, shame, and guilt. While the employees of the DPS are not my enemies, my disappointment with mistakes made can operate like strategic plots by an enemy power that seeks to keep me away from my Father’s business. What happened was a minor inconvenience, but I know it caused a great deal of stress for my mother. She now dreads ever having to return there.

Last week on the blog I wrote about the first half of Psalm 5. Click on this link to see the post. https://antheakotlan.com/2021/06/16/how-can-i-be-angry-and-sin-not/

This week I am going to look at verses 7-12 to see how I could have handled my anger better.
In the second half of Psalm 5 (verses 7-12), David continues to pour out his angry heart to God. He reminds himself of God’s character and asks God for what he needs.

7 But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house.I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you.8 Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me.

Psalm 5:7-8 ESV

Keep me in fellowship with you in your house. I thank you that I can approach you this day because of what you have done for me in abundance. I praise you this day for your mercy. Your love is my compass and provision. Please, don’t let my enemies, mistakes others make, or the unfairness of everyday life distract me from living out the life you have for me. Keep me on track with you and in step with you. I entrust you with all my disappointments and trust you to make these situations work out for my benefit, and for those I love.

9 For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction, their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue.

10 Make them bear their guilt, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out, for they have rebelled against you.
My enemies speak fluent deception, and even their compliments tear down. Please settle the score on my behalf and send them away. While they seek their own counsel, help me to always seek your wisdom first. You are my advocate.
11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.

12 For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

Psalm 5:9-12 ESV

Running into your safe embrace is worthy of celebration. In your presence, I can sing and praise you in peaceful protection. There is always enough room for me in your presence. I choose to give thanks for all you are doing for me and those I love. I will take time today to hide with you.

Last week I talked about my granddaughter throwing a tantrum. One of the most tender moments I have witnessed is when my tall son-in-law bends down to the ground and looks into his tiny daughter’s eyes. He says, “I can see that you have some big feelings right now. Please use your words and tell Daddy what you need.” Psalm 5 is my heavenly father’s message to me to come to him and use my words to let him know what I need. He longs to hear from me and for me to express my anger and hurt with words, cries, and groans. He alone is always a safe place to run.

Lord, thank you. You are my Jehovah Jirah and you have everything I need. You are always ready to hold me in my angry moments and help me process through all my big feelings. Only you can help me avoid the trap of anger that leads to sin. Amen.

How do you process anger in a healthy way?