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How do I trust God in the Middle of a Season of Loss? Psalm 74

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

Have you ever seen a church building repurposed as a new business, restaurant, or bar? I have seen this many times while visiting family and traveling in Europe. One church I remember had gorgeous stained-glass windows but was converted into an Indian restaurant. I found it strangely unsettling, and loss is firmly attached to it in my mind.

There is a special rite or service within Anglicanism known as The De-Consecration of a Sacred Space. The liturgy is designed to make room for lament for those who experienced some of the most joyful moments in their lives inside the walls of that church. A wedding day, a child’s baptism, or a loved one’s memorial service becomes tied to those sacred spaces in our hearts and minds. Recently, a pastor told me of an unfortunate situation in the Austin area. When a nearby church’s attendance dwindled, the denomination closed the church building. Next, families who had placed their loved ones in the church’s columbarium were contacted. The families were asked to come and pick up their loved one’s cremated remains. His church was in a growth cycle and recently built a new columbarium. They began receiving regular requests to purchase niches for these homeless remains.

In Psalm 74, the worship leader cries out to God on behalf of an entire congregation in lament over the destruction of their sanctuary. While most church-going Americans have never experienced the tragedy of having a foreign power destroy their church, some know a fair bit about church splits and church attendance decline. While I realize some churches might be building bigger buildings and moving to new spaces, that is not always the case. Like divorce, church splits and dwindling attendance create financial havoc and loss.

A Cry for Help

1 O God, why do you cast us off forever? Why does your anger smoke against the sheep of your pasture?
2 Remember your congregation, which you have purchased of old, which you have redeemed to be the tribe of your heritage! Remember Mount Zion, where you have dwelt.
3 Direct your steps to the perpetual ruins; the enemy has destroyed everything in the sanctuary!
(Psalm 74:1-3 ESV)
  • Does God need me to remind Him?
  • Does God need me to direct Him?
  • Does God need to hear my status update?

No

When faced with loss, I feel compelled to line it out for God as if it might have escaped his notice. The truth is that God knows all about my losses. He knows what I lost before, and He even knows what I will lose in the future.

A List of Violations

4 Your foes have roared in the midst of your meeting place; they set up their own signs for signs.
5 They were like those who swing axes in a forest of trees. 
6 And all its carved wood they broke down with hatchets and hammers.
7 They set your sanctuary on fire; they profaned the dwelling place of your name,
    bringing it down to the ground. 
8 They said to themselves, “We will utterly subdue them”; they burned all the meeting places of God in the land.
9 We do not see our signs; there is no longer any prophet, and there is none among us who knows how long.
(Psalm 74:4-9 ESV)

Losing a place of worship strikes at the heart of a community. Destroying beautiful things like art, worship spaces, or rare books feels deeply personal. In this psalm, the author writes about the additional loss of a prophet. Prophets serve a community by providing wise guidance. They speak the truth and call a people group to the next steps in the restoration process.

In times of disorientation, seeking a spiritual guide gives necessary support. Ask the Lord to provide a pastor or mentor for you.

When and Why Response

10 How long, O God, is the foe to scoff? Is the enemy to revile your name forever?
11 Why do you hold back your hand, your right hand? Take it from the fold of your garment and destroy them! 
(Psalm 74:10-11 ESV)

Sooner or later, I always arrive with God at the “when and why moment.” I want to know the timeline because it might give me an illusion of control. If I only knew when this would be over and the restoration would come, I could deal with this. These are the lies I tell myself.

I also want to know why, and I have even fallen into the trap of assigning motives to other people’s actions, which leads to more offense on my part.

Releasing my need to have every question answered might be the best pathway to healing after a loss.

But God

12 Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth.
(Psalm 74:12 ESV)

A turn in the lament occurs at this halfway point in Psalm 74. God works “in the midst of the earth” amid loss and tragedy.

I must choose to take this turn to reorient my perspective. Recently, a friend of mine went through a particularly dark and painful season. She chose daily to ask the Lord to show her himself in the middle of the loss and the pain. Slowly, she began to see a flickering candle of God’s presence. She kept a journal and noted each point of light along her journey. Four years later, she has a powerful testimony of seeing God’s presence in one of the hardest seasons of her life.

Prayer

Lord,

Please help me trust amid loss, allow me to release my need to know it all, and help me see you working each day. In Jesus’s name, amen.  

Self-Help or Surrender – Psalm 70

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

A prayer for help and lament

You can stop a hydrochloric acid leak with a hefty supply of chocolate bars.

Back in the 1980s, on his weekly television show, Angus MacGyver taught me many handy things like that. One never knows when that bit of survival trivia might come in handy. If you doubt this solution, I recommend you check out the circa 2003 episode of “Myth Busters” to see how well the technique works.

Whenever MacGyver found himself in serious trouble, and that seemed to be the premise of every week’s episode, he would use some household objects in a unique combination to save the day. He might call for help, but his efforts always brought about his rescue or the saving of a beautiful woman.

In Psalm 70, the psalmist finds himself in grave peril and cries out for help.

Waiting for God’s Rescue

1 Make haste, O God, to deliver me! O LORD, make haste to help me!
(Psalm 70:1 ESV)

Just like me, the psalmist wants help—right now. Suffering slows down the passing of time, or certainly my perception of time. It engulfs, isolates, and brings me to my knees. After an eternity, perhaps more like an hour, of waiting for a rescue, I’m ready for my MacGyver moment.

I want to reach into my Chelsey boot and bring out a penknife that cuts off what entangles me and lets me run free. It is a struggle to surrender and wait on God’s timing or seek out his ways.

Waiting on God’s Justice

2 Let them be put to shame and confusion who seek my life!
Let them be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt!
3 Let them turn back because of their shame who say, “Aha, Aha!”
(Psalm 70:2-3 ESV)

When I place my order for a rescue from God, I would also like it served with a healthy portion of justice. Justice delayed is justice denied, right?

I want those people over there, the ones who have tried to take my life, the ones I feel have failed me, the ones who refused to help me, the ones who might have caused my suffering, the ones who hurt my loved ones. I want them to suffer…do your thing, God. Smite them or bring them to their knees and make them sorry.  

Meanwhile, could you spotlight their wrongdoing, bring them to repentance, and return whatever was lost to me?

When I make this audacious request, do I consider all the implications? Am I ready to experience this myself? Do I want my mistakes to be exposed for everyone to see?

Waiting on God’s Glory


4 May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, “God is great!”
(Psalm 70:4 ESV)

In verse two, the psalmist calls out those who seek to take his life. This time, however, he specifies a different group of seekers. He wants to see the ultimate justice; the Godly ones, those who seek the Lord, should win and dance in victory.

Waiting on God’s Heroic Measures (and not my own)


5 But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O LORD, do not delay!
(Psalm 70:5 ESV)

The final verse in this short prayer brings it all back to the beginning. The psalmist knows he needs help and knows it is beyond his ability to help himself. There will be no surge or music, and the MacGyver moment will not unfold. The psalmist is painfully aware of how poor and needy he is. He now waits in humility and certainty of God’s role as the ultimate deliverer.

Sooner or later, we all need a rescuer who can pull us out of peril and redeem our lives. Only the Lord can do this for us. Our self-reliance and innovations won’t be necessary. I can’t guarantee a quick rescue, but I know the God of the universe is working in our waiting times. His timing is perfect, and his rescue plans are always redemptive.

Prayer

Lord, help me to wait on you for my rescue. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Where to Focus in Times of War – Psalm 60

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

Images of war, reports of cruelty, and daily updates of escalating violence fill our newsfeeds. The first verses of Psalm 60, a prayer of lament, paint an eerily accurate reflection of scenes in the Middle East in October of 2023.

News networks bombard us with reports of earthquakes, acts of terror, kidnapping, and people staggering under the crushing force of witnessing one traumatic event after another.

1O God, you have rejected us, broken our defenses; you have been angry; oh, restore us.
2 You have made the land to quake; you have torn it open; repair its breaches, for it totters.
3 You have made your people see hard things; you have given us wine to drink that made us stagger.
(Psalm 60:1-3 ESV)

The psalmist cries out to God for restoration, knowing that only He could bring what is needed. While the one who wrote Psalm 60 had a clear idea of who was at fault, the current complexities and histories of the conflict in the Middle East could not be summed up so simply. Fault finding by those who live thousands of miles away can become a tool to create even more distance from these atrocities.

  • Are there people in the area who have rejected God? Yes
  • Are there innocent civilians caught in a conflict they did not create? Yes
  • Are there people there who honor God? Yes
  • Are there people there who have turned away from God? Yes

Therefore, only God can and will bring stability to the region because He alone can provide justice and mercy in equal measure.

I may never live in a war-torn city. However, as a believer, I live in times of spiritual warfare. The enemy of my soul bombards me and those I love with discouragement, uncertainty, financial problems, and suffering. When I step out to serve and commit to God’s assignments, I often experience increased discouraging opposition. The onslaught of opposition can leave me feeling defeated before I even start.

4 You have up a banner for those who fear you, that they may flee to it from the bow. Selah
5 That your beloved ones may be delivered, give salvation by your right hand and answer us!
6 God has spoken in his holiness: “With exultation I will divide up Shechem and portion out the Vale of Succoth.
7 Gilead is mine; Manasseh is mine; Ephraim is my helmet; Judah is my scepter.
8 Moab is my washbasin; upon Edom I cast my shoe; over Philistia I shout in triumph.” 
(Psalm 60:4-8 ESV)

In verse 4, the psalmist speaks of Jehovah Nissi, the Lord our Victory. This name of God reminds us of His ability to win all wars and be the one who fights for us. Amid the brokenness, the destruction, and the trauma, He will set up a banner for His people to flee to.

In times of war, look for God’s banner. Sometimes, God provides a place to flee to before the restoration.

 

By only focusing on seeing the provision or the healing, I might overlook the place of refuge God is calling me to go to with Him.

Banners can be used to celebrate victories, share hope with soldiers in the fight, and establish territory that has been won over. Banners fly high in the sky, beyond the fray, and point in the direction of respite for those fleeing the war.

In verses 5 to 8, the psalmist lists specific geographical areas that remind the people of God’s previous victories. Imagine God is unfurling His war resume full of victories.

In times of war, review God’s victories in your life. Where and when has He rescued you?

Making a list of God’s victories can remind your war-weary heart of all God has done in your life. Take time to give thanks for those victories. Share those victories with other believers to encourage them. Has God given you victory over an addiction? Has God restored a broken relationship? Has God made a miraculous provision for you when you didn’t have what you needed?

9 Who will bring me to the fortified city? Who will lead me to Edom?
10 Have you not rejected us, O God? You do not go forth, O God, with our armies.
11 Oh, grant us help against the foe, for vain is the salvation of man!
12 With God we shall do valiantly; it is he who will tread down our foes.
(Psalm 60:9-12 ESV)

In verses 9-12, the psalmist focuses on putting all his confidence in God’s abilities. The psalmist turns his attention to what will happen “with God.”

In times of war, focus on what God will do, not the enemy’s attacks.

The final words of Psalms 60 in verse 12 speak of God’s ability to put our foes under his feet. He will be in authority over them. When we spend time with God, our hearts will be filled with courage.

When you feel sad and overwhelmed by the news headlines, take time to pray through Psalm 60. When you feel weighed down from your own spiritual battles, allow the truth of God’s word to tend your war-weary soul.

Prayer

Here’s another prayer for Israel from Psalm 7.

Prayer Points for a Betrayed Soul – Psalm 55b

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

We need to stop overestimating our problems and underestimating prayer.

Fr. Jon Beadle

The betrayal of a friend cuts deep down, even to my soul. Someone so close can wound in a way that someone at a distance cannot. This kind of problem can feel too heavy to bear.

When the tea kettle of my emotions rolls to a full boil, what releases the steam is a call to a trusted friend. Once the overwhelm is vented, I might quickly move on and become distracted by the demands of daily life. A friend’s sympathy provides balm for a troubled soul, but what does God call me to do?

In the first half of Psalm 55, David speaks of a devastating betrayal from someone inside his faith community. He takes his wounding and weariness directly to God in prayer. In the second half of the psalm, he sheds more light on his method of prayer.

16 But I call to God, and the LORD will save me.
17 Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.
18 He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me.
19 God will give ear and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old, Selah
because they do not change and do not fear God.
(Psalm 55:16-19 ESV)

Declaration

David’s prayer begins with a declaration based on God’s character, not his situation.

“the LORD will save me.” verse 16

Schedule

David commits to a schedule of prayer.

Morning, noon, and evening he prays.  Verse 17

When my life feels chaotic, and emotions run high, scheduled prayer provides a pathway to soul-tending and spiritual self-care.

Redemptive Results

“He redeems my soul in safety from the battle” verse 18

God redeems our souls when we commit to tending them in prayer.  He restores us, not just out of the flames, but allows us to become stronger and more resilient. Taking time for confession clears out what can only weaken us.

God Hears and Humbles

“God will give ear and humble them” – verse 19

As I pray more, it becomes clear that it is not up to me to change the hearts or minds of my enemies because God will humble them. This humbling may lead to their repentance, but I don’t need to figure that out.

20 My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant.
21 His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil,
    yet they were drawn swords.
(Psalm 55:20-21 ESV)

Full Report

David reports to God all the wrongs done.

Hand against his friend, violating a covenant – verse 20

He shares with God his betrayal.

Buttery speech, words softer than oil, yet war in his heart

Sometimes our betrayer continues to fool others with sweet talk and soothing words. All the while, God knows what is in our enemy’s hearts. He is never deceived.

Burdens Cast Away

22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit
    the righteous to be moved.

23 But you, O God, will cast them down  into the pit of destruction; men of blood and treachery
    shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in you.

(Psalm 55:22-23 ESV)

When I cast my burdens on the LORD, he responds with sustaining strength. If not, I will become too exhausted from carrying what I was not designed to carry. God will hear my complaints and take care of the needed judgment. I can trust God to bring justice in His way and time.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for creating a safe space for me to come to with my wounded heart. Knowing you will act on my behalf, I pour out my pain, sadness, and the details of my betrayal. Help me to pray more and keep accounts short with you. Thank you for redeeming my soul and healing me from a friend’s wounds. I will trust you today to bring justice and resolution, in Jesus’ name.

Making Room for Repentance

/ Anthea Kotlan / 5 Comments

Psalm 38 offers a liturgy of lament for when it all goes wrong, and the sin is mine.

Those times when I realize I am the one who said or did something causing damage or disappointment to someone else. While I can pull out some handy well-worn excuses, the reality of my sin blares like a stuck car horn on a quiet Saturday morning parked right by the house. The sound of that horn and the implication of what I have done sincerely disturb me.

I would much prefer to skip suffering and leapfrog over lament, but stuffing away guilt and remorse will only lead to more and more damage. Like the psalmist, I require God’s mercy. I need to make room for repentance.

1O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath!
2 For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me.
3 There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin.
(Psalm 38:1-2 ESV)

Unrepentant Sin leads to Structural Damage

The longer it remains buried under the surface, the more damage it will do to my entire being. I was not designed to carry sin. The weight of carrying it around is too much.

4 For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.
5 My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; all the day I go about mourning.
7 For my sides are filled with burning, and there is no soundness in my flesh.
(Psalm 38:4-7 ESV)

Unrepentant Sin’s Damage Quietly Grows under the Surface

When a wound is not cleaned and cleared out, it may fester and cause a noxious odor.

A few months ago, after clearing out a storage unit for a family member, a tiny scratch or abrasion allowed an infection to enter my wrist. Slowly but surely, a hot red patch of skin expanded. I was busy and tried to ignore it. It was painful, but an injury to my hand caused me to miss the signs of a growing infection. I attributed the throbbing pain to a previous sprain. I tried pain patches, hydrocortisone cream, and ice packs, but things only worsened.

Finally, a friend expressed concern and encouraged me to have my doctor take a look. She examined my arm and immediately left the room to fetch an associate to review her findings. Moments later, I was sent to the pharmacy to fill a prescription for a potent antibiotic.

8 I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.
9 O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off.
(Psalm 38:8-11 ESV)

Unrepentant Sin Leads to Isolation

God designed me to live in a community with others in mutually beneficial relationships. Unrepentant sin causes me to pull away and hide at a time when I am in the greatest need of support. Sooner or later, I need others to pray for me, encourage me, and offer advice or perspective. Life is hard. Traveling solo leaves me in a spiritual echo chamber.

12 Those who seek my life lay their snares; those who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.
13 But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear, like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
14 I have become like a man who does not hear, and in whose mouth are no rebukes.
(Psalm 38:12-14 ESV)

Unrepentant sin disorientates me and takes my voice

Sound helps orient me on my faith journey. Hearing God’s word daily keeps me on track. Listening to praise and worship music fills me with hope. Sin dulls my appetite for God’s word and leads me to seek escapism in my media choices.  

Unrepentant sin comes between the Holy Spirit and me. I can no longer hear the still, small voice of guidance. Also, I lose my voice when I am not receiving regular replenishment from this promised helper. Doubts crowd my mind. The voice of the accuser is amplified. I get stuck and silent.

Prayer

Lord, I need Your mercy to cleanse me of the things done and left undone that have wronged others and failed You. Order my life in a way that leaves room for regular repentance. Please help me to acknowledge my sins. Send a fresh wave of your Holy Spirit to examine me. Help me repent of every sin and keep me from denial. I pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, and I wait for your reply. Amen

Lent and Lament – Psalm 31b

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One essential soul-tending tool might be to practice lament.

In the six weeks or so leading up to Easter, Christians worldwide participate in Lent. It’s a season for believers to take inventory of their spiritual lives. Perhaps a spring cleaning with some lament thrown in for good measure. Some choose to give something up as a way to remember Jesus’ suffering and sacrifice. Others take on specific disciplines like spending more time in prayer, reading through certain portions of scripture, or attending special church services designed to mark the season.

Taking time to lament our personal and corporate sins can be a central part of Lent. Some people even pray about what they have done and what they have left undone.

In the second half of Psalm 31, the psalmist takes an inventory of sorts. Take a few minutes today to participate in personal lament by reading each verse and considering these things.

14 But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hand: rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!
16 Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love!
(Psalm 31:14-16 ESV)

Words said aloud

What we say matters.

What we speak aloud seeps into our bones and shapes our thinking.  

The Psalmist begins with a declaration, “I say, ‘You are my God.’”
He follows this with a cry for the Lord to “Make your face shine on your servant…”. This refers back to the priestly blessing in Numbers 6:24-26.  

As human beings, we were all made to crave being in our Heavenly Father’s presence and having His approval. It is in our original design. Many of us will spend a lifetime trying to please God in our strength. Sadly, we will fail and fail again without accepting Jesus as the only way to our Father.

What can you say aloud to build you up and encourage your spiritual growth?

  • Sing Christian hymns or songs  
  • Read the Bible aloud for a few minutes every day
  • Pray aloud in the car or on a walk using the promises of scripture
17 O Lord, let me not be put to shame, for I call upon you; let the wicked be put to shame;
    let them go silently to Sheol.
18 Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt.
19 Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you
and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!
20 In the cover of your presence you hide them, from the plots of men; you store them in your shelter from the strife of tongues.
(Psalm 31:17-20 ESV)

Words heard

What we listen to matters.

The Psalmist begs the Lord to mute lying lips. He requests that the wicked go silently to Sheol. What we listen to affects us more than we realize. Other peoples’ words have the power to weigh us down and teach us things that are not true. We live in a noisy world and can become surrounded by deceptive soundtracks.

Taking time to seek out silence each day can counter the inevitable feelings of overwhelm.

What can you listen to build yourself up spiritually?

  • Refrain from listening to the radio or a podcast during your drive time, and enjoy the silence.
  • Reduce the number of news programs you watch or listen to. Practice extreme discernment on your news sources. Do the anchor people seem angry or prideful?
  • Commit to listening to God’s word daily, even for a few minutes. Please read it to yourself aloud or listen to any of the podcasts or services that read scripture daily. In less than 20 minutes daily, I have listened to the entire Bible in one year.
21 Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city.
22 I had said in my alarm, “I am cut off from your sight.” But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help.
23 Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. 
24 Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!
(Psalm 31:21-24 ESV)

Things that were done and left undone

Have you asked for help lately?

Asking for help requires a certain level of humility and vulnerability. Too often, I am more ready to problem-solve than cry out to God for help.

He hears us and is so ready to send us aid.

In verse 23, the psalmist calls out the “one who acts in pride.” She might be someone who relies on her strength, leans on her courage, and requires her own schedule to be kept.

The Lord calls us to be found waiting for Him. Waiting for Him to answer us, aid us, and make provision. Do I sometimes miss His ideal solution because I have tried to run ahead and make my own way?

The Lord calls us to “take courage” as we wait on Him because He is willing to give it to all of us.

Prayer

Lord, thank you that you hear my cries for help and always answer. Please help me to wait on your way and your timing. Please help me to complete the assignments you have given to me. Please open my eyes to things I may lose sight of that are essential to you.  May I glorify you with the words I say? May I honor you with what I listen to? Please give me wisdom and discernment in all of these areas. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Ashes, Anguish, and a Pathway to Healing – Psalm 31:1-13

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Lent begins this year on Wednesday, February 22nd. On that day, churches worldwide will host Ash Wednesday services. Ministers will mark the foreheads of the faithful and say,

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” 
Genesis 3:19 ESV

During the forty days of Lent, believers can set aside time to lament their own mortality. In the Bible, the use of ashes signals mourning and loss. Ashes on our skin make inner suffering visible. Christians are reminded that we sin and die because humanity rebelled against God. We must continue to acknowledge this truth.

In Psalm 31, David laments his own suffering as he is relentlessly pursued by King Saul. Examining the first half of this psalm reveals a great deal about prayers of desperation and lament.

1 In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me!
2 Incline your ear to me; rescue me speedily! Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me!
(Psalm 31:1-2 ESV)

God’s rescue comes about because of His character. What a relief!

God’s refuge is a solid rock of certainty, not an everchanging unreliable aspirational goal. The rescue may not be what I expected, but it always comes in God’s perfect timing.

3 For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name's sake you lead me and guide me;
4 you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.
(Psalm 31:3-4 ESV)

God’s presence is the refuge. How often do I seek His presence and spend time there?

Suffering and Surrender

Verse 5 might sound familiar. Jesus intentionally echoes David’s words from this psalm as he is about to die on the cross. Jesus would have had many of the psalms memorized, and the crowd would have to. By using this key phrase, He models surrender.

During Lent, many believers spend time considering the suffering of Jesus on the cross. The gravity of our sin required a sacrifice of extreme and prolonged anguish.

Idol Check

6 I hate those who pay regard to worthless idols, but I trust in the Lord.
7 I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul,
8 and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.
Psalm 31:6-8 ESV

Before I coast by verse six, I may need to conduct an idol check. I don’t typically feel like bowing down to a large golden cow. So, considering that weirdly specific Biblical allusion, I suppose I’m idol free, or am I?

While I do trust in the Lord, would an inventory of my spent time and treasure reveal some idol influences?

Where do I spend my time?

How do I spend my money?

How do I invest the talents the Lord has blessed me with?

Set aside time to spend alone with the Lord, seeking His wisdom on these questions. Consider asking a trusted friend or family member how she sees these areas in your life.

We live in a society that worships the idol of youth and beauty. People make important life decisions based on public opinion, pleasing the crowd, or external appearances. God looks on our hearts. We all can become obsessed with seeking a life of ease and comfort.  We feel outraged if we believe our rights have been put into question. These goals contradict the transformational call to follow Jesus and carry our cross. We are called to give up our own way, rights, entitlements, and priorities for the sake of the Gospel.

Verse seven reminds me that God sees me and knows my distress and brokenness. In the midst of suffering, knowing that someone sees and knows can help me hang on. A certain isolation weighs so heavily on my heart when I feel like no one understands. Often no human can completely comprehend another person’s journey, but the Lord always can.

Our Bodies Keep the Score

9 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.
10 For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.
Psalm 31:9-10 ESV

Our bodies bear the brunt of trauma and abuse. Years of verbal abuse may result in migraine headaches or other maladies. Sin takes a toll on our physical bodies. (For so much more on this topic, check out this book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van der Kolk, MD)

Neighbor’s Betrayal

11 Because of all my adversaries, I have become a reproach, especially to my neighbors, and an object of dread to my acquaintances; those who see me in the street flee from me.
12 I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel.
13 For I hear the whispering of many— terror on every side!— as they scheme together against me, as they plot to take my life.
Psalm 31:11-13 ESV

When someone in our lives becomes our enemy and seeks to harm us, we expect that person to be a threat. In normal and healthy ways, we draw boundaries and allow that person to experience the consequences of her actions. However, a neighbor’s or friend’s betrayal, inaction, or lack of empathy cuts much more deeply. Social isolation becomes a secondary trauma for those who have been victims of abuse.

Why does this happen?

Recently I heard Rachel Denhollander talk about our call as Christians to bear witness to someone else’s abuse and respond with active compassion. Denhollander warns that this requires so much of us. It is costly and painful. Sadly, the cost is far too great for some, who choose to pull away when others need them most.

How do you respond to those who suffer around you? Do you try to minimize a friend’s experience, or are you willing to be present and sit and hold space for someone to process through a time of grief?

To be able to hold space for others in seasons of suffering, we must seek to be healed ourselves by processing our own trauma and suffering.

Psalm 31 provides a set of prayers for those who suffer. It can provide a way to begin to metabolize grief. In an effort to bring his own brokenness before God, David boldly showed his whole heart to God. Not just the pure and acceptable parts, but he reveals the darkness and the desolation. This is our own path to healing.

Prayers of Desperation

David’s prayers all through the Psalms reveal a willingness to be honest and vulnerable which builds true intimacy in His relationship with God. These steps allow Him to draw near to God on his worst day. When he finds himself trapped, overwhelmed, and hopeless, he hands it to the Lord fully and completely. His prayers are raw without edits or apologies, and ours should be too. He refuses to dress it up as anything other than pure desperation. His heart is failing, and there is no way out in his own strength.

Hope in the Cross

If you can attend an Ash Wednesday service and receive ashes marked in the shape of the cross on your forehead, I encourage you to cling to the hope revealed there.

That cross carries within it an entire story and the foundation of human hope. It is the story of loss and gain, of the incarnation of the truly good one, his glorious life, and triumphant defeat of death. The ashes are not just a reminder of our great failure; but they remind us of God’s victory over sin and death through the life, death, and resurrection of his Son.

Esau McCaulley
Lent: The Season of Repentance and Renewal

How will you navigate the season of Lent this year? What does God have for you in this journey? Lent 2023 begins on Wednesday, February 22nd.

Where do I find God in a desperate situation? Psalm 22

/ Anthea Kotlan / 3 Comments

The book of Esther opens with the swift and forced exit of Queen Vashti, followed by a country-wide search for a new Queen. The King selects a young Jewish orphan named Esther. Just as she is settling into palace life, an enemy of the Jewish people has cleverly manipulated the King to issue a royal edict calling for the murder of her people. Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, has begged her to go to the King. He warned her about the cost of her silence. However, she knows that speaking to the King without an invitation could result in her immediate death.

13 Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, "Do not think to yourself that in the King's palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. 14 For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:13-14 ESV)

Esther responded to Mordecai’s charge.

16 "Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the King, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish." (Esther 4:16 ESV)

Have you ever faced such a difficult decision in your life? Of course, it is unlikely that most of us will face the threat of genocide; however, most of us will face difficult decisions made in rugged and isolated places.

Have you been asked to give up a dream or a great opportunity so that someone you love can pursue their goal?

Have you ever agreed to take on something painful or challenging because it was necessary?

Have you ever been called upon to advocate for someone who is suffering or in need of help?

For such a time as this…. What is God calling you to take on or take off in this season?

Sooner or later, we will all have to rely on our faith in God in a season of hardship. Do you find yourself in a time of difficulty? Or is someone you love walking through a season of suffering?

Psalm 22 was written as a psalm of lament by King David. God provides psalms in the Bible for us to process complicated and passionate feelings. There are psalms for lament or sadness, like this one. Psalms are designed to process anger, betrayal, thanksgiving, joy, and acceptance.

Psalm 22 is often called a prophetic psalm pointing to Jesus’ time on the cross. However, the Jewish people have a different perspective.

The Oral Torah states that King David wrote this Psalm in foreknowledge of the time of Hadassah, also known as Queen Esther.

What does this portion of Psalm 22 say about having faith amid hardship? Take a few minutes to read through this portion of the Psalm and see what the Lord has for you.

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.
(Psalm 22:1-2 ESV)

Prayer

Lord, we thank you for being close by even in my suffering. Even when I cannot see or feel you, I will choose to believe you are still there. Thank you for hearing my hard questions and being willing to answer them in your perfect timing and perfect ways.

3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.
4 In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried and were rescued; in you, they trusted and were not put to shame.
(Psalm 22: 3-5 ESV)

Lord, does how I feel about you, change who You are?

How do I counter the negative voice in my head?

Try reading a psalm of praise or thanksgiving. Then, try reading Psalm 145 or 146.

God is present in the praises of His people. What could you specifically praise God about today? For what could you give thanks?

What do I know is true about me? About God?

You are still on your throne even when it does not seem so. Lord, you have been faithful to generations before me. You are trustworthy to deliver over decades.

Take a moment to close your eyes and ask the Lord, what do you want me to know about you right now?

Prayer

Lord, I thank you for delivering those who went before me. Thank you for answering their prayers. Please help me give thanks and record how you rescued my people and me. Thank you for bringing redemption out of the worst situations. Please help me to see how you will do that for me. If I can’t see those solutions right now, help me to know that your rescue is not based on my understanding.

6 But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people.
7 All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads;
8 "He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!"
(Psalm 22:6-8 ESV)

Even when I feel like a worm or entirely worthless, these feelings I have do not define me. You say I am beloved, called, and cared for. Even when those around me mock me, Lord and You are still for me.

Take a moment to remember the times God has rescued you, delivered you, and delighted in you.

Prayer

Lord, help to recall times when you have delivered me. Could you help me make a list and give thanks? Fill my mind with examples of Your faithfulness. Help me trust and delight in You. Help me have courage and wisdom in all difficult decisions knowing You are right by my side. Amen

Can Forgiveness Set Me Free? Psalm 10

/ Anthea Kotlan / 1 Comment

(Prison cell)

During World War II, Louis Zamperini survived 47 days at sea in a raft after his plane crashed and then tragically became a prisoner of war for two long years. While being held captive, he experienced terrible abuse and almost daily beatings at the hands of some ruthless guards.

As I have been reading a book telling his story, Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption, I wonder how Louis could survive all of this. He did cry out to God during his ordeal, and I wonder if Psalm 10 reflects some of his experience in the prison camp.

1 Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (Psalm 10:1 ESV)

Did Louis feel God was far away, removed, and remote?

The psalmist describes in the following nine verses all that the wicked do. As I read these verses, many scenes from Louis’s experiences with cruel guards sprang to mind.

What do the wicked do?

2 In arrogance the wicked hotly pursue the poor; let them be caught in the schemes that they 
have devised.
3 For the wicked boasts of the desires of his soul, and the one greedy gain curses and renounces the LORD.
4 In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.”
(Psalm 10:2-4 ESV)

In the prisoner of war camps, the Japanese guards would intentionally target Christians and seek to break their faith. They mocked, tortured, and demanded their victims deny God.

5 His ways prosper at all times; your judgments are on high, out of his sight; as for all his foes, he puffs at them.

6 He says in his heart, “I shall not be moved; throughout all generations I shall not meet adversity.”

7 His mouth is filled with cursing and deceit and oppression; under his tongue are mischief and iniquity.

8 He sits in ambush in the villages; in hiding places he murders the innocent.
His eyes stealthily watch for the helpless;

9 he lurks in ambush like a lion in his thicket; he lurks that he may seize the poor; he seizes the poor when he draws him into his net. 
(Psalm 10:5-9 ESV)

Over and over, the guards lashed out at Louis and the other prisoners. They were starved, beaten, and then forced to beat each other. As Louis was moved from one camp to the other, the abuse increased as the conditions in each camp deteriorated.

How do abuse victims react?

10 The helpless are crushed, sink down, and fall by his might.

11 He says in his heart, “God has forgotten, he has hidden his face, he will never see it.”
(Psalm 10:10-11 ESV)

The effect of physical abuse is compounded by what the victim experiences psychologically. Endless torture of the mind and body crushes the spirit.

Many of the captives in the Japanese prisoner of war camps gave up hope as the violence took a toll on their bodies and souls. Others succumbed to a list of treatable diseases caused by extreme neglect. All of them struggled to believe there would ever be an end to the torture they were experiencing.

Finally, in 1945 Louis and others were liberated and returned home after the Japanese surrendered. Louis recalled how much he struggled with the memories and the trauma he had experienced. He became dependent upon alcohol to escape the nightmares that haunted his sleep.

Then in 1949, Louis heard Billy Graham preach on forgiveness, and he was delivered from his posttraumatic stress. Later he would travel the country speaking and sharing his testimony of healing and redemption through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Louis had gained true freedom through forgiveness. This incredible journey of forgiveness would lead to Louis reconciling with some of the same guards who had abused him so severely.  

Much like Louis Zamperini’s life took an abrupt turn, the final verses of Psalm 10 change in tone and meaning. The Psalmist cries out to the LORD and begins to declare truths about what God does or will do.

12 Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted. (Psalm 10: 12 ESV)
God does not forget
13 Why does the wicked renounce God and say in his heart, “You will not call to account”? (Psalm 10:13 ESV)

God calls to account

14 But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless. (Psalm 10:14 ESV)

God helps the fatherless and the helpless.

I can’t imagine a more helpless feeling than being held in a prisoner of war camp by your enemy.

15 Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer; call his wickedness to account till you find none. (Psalm 10:15 ESV)

God takes their strength and calls the wicked to account.

16 The LORD is king forever and ever; the nations perish from his land. (Psalm 10:6 ESV)

God rules as King

17 O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear (Psalm 10:17 ESV)

God hears & strengthens hearts
18 to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. (Psalm 10:18 ESV)

God brings justice

Most of us will never experience anything like Louis Zamperini did as a prisoner of war. However, all of us will experience encounters with wicked people. What do the wicked people look like in your life? Are you allowing them to hold you captive in unforgiveness?

  • A family member who belittles you or doubts your abilities?
  • A coworker or boss who mistreats you?
  • A friend who betrays your trust?
  • An adult child or parent who became estranged due to toxic behavior or addiction?
  • A deceptive ex-wife or ex-husband or ex-business partner?

How do we as believers respond to the wicked?

If I can trust the truth in the final verses of Psalm 10, this provides a pathway toward the example of forgiveness set by Louis Zamperini. I can cry out to God and surrender my desire to settle the score or set things straight. God can do what I can never do alone in my heart and in my life. I can be set free. For many of us, this might even be a daily journey in forgiveness because sometimes the wrongs run deep and leave scars.

Prayer

Thank you, LORD, that you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen our hearts and incline your ear to each of us. (Psalm 10:17). Thank you for doing justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more (Psalm 10:18). Thank you, Father, for carrying this burden for each of us because the weight of it would destroy us. Please help us to forgive and be set free. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you want to learn more about Louis Zamperini, here are two great sources.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption  by Laura Hillenbrand

“8 Things You May Not Know About Louis Zamperini”

https://www.history.com/news/8-things-you-may-not-know-about-louis-zamperini

Have You Felt Depleted Lately? Psalm 79

/ Anthea Kotlan / Leave a comment

Even after the warnings, God’s people could hardly believe the great disaster that fell upon Jerusalem during the Babylonian Conquest in 597 BC.

In the aftermath of war, Psalm 79 expresses the people’s grief about what had been done and left undone in the form of a community lament.

How Long, O Lord?

1 O God, the nations have come into your inheritance; they have defiled your holy Temple; they have laid Jerusalem in ruins.

2 They have given the bodies of your servants to the birds of the heavens for food,
the flesh of your faithful to the beasts of the earth.

3 They have poured out their blood like water all around Jerusalem, and there was no one to bury them. (Psalm 79:1-3 ESV)

The city was left in ruins. The Temple was ransacked and destroyed. By the end of the siege, bodies lay in the streets with no one to bury them. The people’s inheritance, the promised land, was covered in their blood.

4 We have become a taunt to our neighbors, mocked and derided by those around us.

5 How long, O LORD? Will you be angry forever? Will your jealousy burn like fire?

6 Pour out your anger on the nations that do not know you, and on the kingdoms that do not call upon your name! (Psalm 79:4-6 ESV)

Shame filled their hearts as God’s people begged for mercy and began asking Him to turn His wrath onto those who denied God’s existence. They questioned how He could protect His reputation with their neighbors without rescuing and restoring them. Does God need such a reminder? Does He need to carefully guard His reputation with those who don’t even acknowledge Him?

7 For they have devoured Jacob and laid waste his habitation.

8 Do not remember against us our former iniquities; let your compassion come speedily to meet us, for we are brought very low. (Psalm 79:7-8 ESV)

How often have we failed to take a complete inventory of my sins? Do we regularly take time for confession, or do we wish to jump ahead to God’s compassionate response? Do we demand His quickest mercy so we can get to the forgiveness part more efficiently?

 9 Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of your name; deliver us, and atone for our sins, for your name's sake!

10 Why should the nations say, "Where is their God?" Let the avenging of the outpoured blood of your servants be known among the nations before our eyes!

11 Let the groans of the prisoners come before you; according to your great power, preserve those doomed to die! (Psalm 79:9-11 ESV)

God’s people begged for compassion, forgiveness, and help. Desperation drove the urgency of their pleading. Finally, however, they acknowledged their sins needed atonement, and since the Temple was in ruins, they couldn’t go and make sacrifices. Only God can provide for these prisoners. 

They were once again quick to remind God to protect His reputation. Does God need such reminders? How often have we been so quick to point out how unfair we consider something to be? Does the God of the universe grow weary of our limited view and hasty judgments?

12 Return sevenfold into the lap of our neighbors the taunts with which they have taunted you, O Lord! (Psalm 79:12 ESV)

God’s people also demanded vengeance (seven-fold) on their neighbors who taunted God. Does God need us to point out when others disrespect Him? Did He miss it by any chance? It seems unlikely. His endless patience with our need to keep score is yet another grace.

13 But we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will give thanks to you forever; from generation to generation, we will recount your praise. (Psalm 79:13 ESV)

Finally, in Verse 13, God’s people gain a proper perspective. They acknowledge their need for their one true Shepherd and pledge their thanksgiving for now and forever to the next generation.

As God’s people, we desperately need to spend time with our Good Shepherd. Expressing lament to God draws us closer to Him and brings healing to our souls. Most of us have not had our homeland destroyed, but smaller losses pile upon significant losses and chip away at our souls, leaving us desperate and depleted.

Lament is a necessary step in healing from the inside out. The healing balm of God’s presence brings about an abundant crop of gratitude. After all, we are charged with an essential responsibility to help our children and grandchildren to inherit a thankful and praise-filled attitude from us. Can I afford to take a few minutes to practice lament today?